I don't know about you, but I always look forward to seeing what new "family values" values this show will invent. At the start of the episode, the entire CamFam is sharing some heartwarming family togetherness time at the Glenoak Municipal Airport -- where they're dissing Eric's parents. When Ruthie asks why everyone has to call Eric's father "Colonel," I perk up slightly, since I've always been mildly curious about that myself. The answer is isn't very exciting, though: he used to be a soldier, and now the family calls him Colonel out of respect. I was hoping for the truth, which I suspect is that RevCam is terrified of his father and will do whatever he says. If the Colonel ordered RevCam to call him "Grand Overlord of the Universe" or "Bertha," I'm sure Eric would comply with that, too. Dopey whines that he doesn't understand why the whole CamClan has to show up at the airport to welcome the grandparents. You know, that's a good point. Unless they own a Ford Explorer -- and I know they're not cool enough for that -- I can't imagine there's any way everyone and their luggage will fit into whatever they drove to get to the airport. So that means two cars, and about four hundred dollars for airport parking. I'll bet RevCam gets his parking for free, though. Or maybe he just leaves his stupid van in a tow-away zone and the cops look the other way. In any case, Annie claims that the grandparents actually enjoy having the entire family greet them. By the way, after the last classic episode I saw, I didn't think it was possible for Annie's hair to get any uglier. I was wrong. She's still got the all-over layers, but this time they're brushed forward onto her face, giving her entire head the appearance of a basketball.
Back to the whining. Apparently the grandparents always bring some sort of candy that the kids can't stand. Wow, that's a hardship. I really feel for them. It must be incredibly difficult for the kids to just say thank you politely and wait until the grandparents leave so they can dispose of the candy. Well, it probably is hard for them, actually, considering how rude they all are. Annie has the final word when she claims that Grandma Ruth and the Colonel love to visit Glenoak. She adds, "We are going to be just as thrilled to see them as they are to see us."
Well, she sure is right about that. We see Ruth and the Colonel leaving the terminal and walking toward the CamFam. Ruth is complaining about the fact that the whole damn family is there to greet them. The Colonel comments, "They travel in a pack, like wolves." Ha. He asks if Ruth has "the candy." She says she packed it in her checked luggage since it was too heavy to carry. She adds, "I don't know why they love it so much. It's ugly and it tastes terrible." Okay, I'm really starting to like these people. What the hell other WB show did they wander in from, anyway? Obviously they're totally out of place here. When the Colonel says that the kids "go on about [the candy] like they've never seen candy before," Ruth whines, "Those kids go on about everything." Now it's official: I love the grandparents. Mary looks over at them and smiles. The Colonel looks scared. He says, "They've spotted us. All right, time to paste on the smiles." Grandma Ruth complies. Everybody hugs and kisses for a while. The Colonel is not exactly affectionate toward Eric, though he seems genuinely happy to see Annie. Unlike me.