Admissions Guy 1: That's it? She's the worst one, and that's it?
Admissions Guy 2: And there are like six kids left, oh God! [sobs loudly]
Lucy gets a "boo-hoo!" talk balloon and drawn-on tears because she's "extremely emotional." This is illustrated by some screen captures of Lucy throwing a total fit, except in that particular instance, she was crying because her good friend had just died, so I don't think that's very fair. Lucy once got in a "catfight" with Mary when their parents renewed their vows, which is awesome. She slapped Jordan, which is stupid. And Mary once "gave" Lucy a black eye by accident, although Simon doubts that it really was an accident because, you know, Mary is evil. Also, I'm not sure how getting a black eye counts as getting in trouble. That should have gone on Mary's list, rich with sports-car-buying scandal as it was. Lucy and Roxanne have had their differences, to which Simon says "whatever."
Next up is Ruthie, who's wearing an angel costume. Simon has lovingly Photoshopped an "X" over the halo and written "yeah, right" on it.
Admissions Guy 1: Simon's handwriting is kind of girly.
Admissions Guy 2: "Kind of"? I'm not a huge fan of gender-izing handwriting, but all that sentence needs are hearts instead of dots over the I's.
Ruthie and Simon once got lost when they were trying to tail their postman, and Sgt. Michaels had to bring them home.
Admissions Guy 1: How are you ten years old and getting lost in your own neighborhood?
Admissions Guy 2: I'm sure it happens to stupid people all the time.
They also bought black-market ferrets. Ruthie called "911" when Simon claimed to be locked in his room. And they found a credit card in the mail and used it to buy Happy some shoes. And there was the time when Ruthie tied Simon to the stairs, then got stuck in them herself. Ruthie's caused trouble on her own, too: once, she stuck a mint up her nose when RevCam's sermon was being taped for television. ["I just felt a sudden rush of love for Ruthie." -- Sars] She also plotted to get sent home from school so she could go to the beach with Annie. And she cut someone's hair badly, and conned stupid Matt into getting her a make-up kit. And then there's the time she "surprised her boyfriend -- and Mom -- with how sexy she could look. At twelve." Sexy saxophone music plays. ["Rush over." -- Sars] Ruthie also bribed her little brothers to call her "Mom" instead of Annie. She said that a friend of hers wasn't being fed by her parents to make RevCam feel better about himself. And she got grounded for slow dancing with a boyfriend who wasn't Peter. Finally, Ruthie and Peter once lost a rescue dog they were supposed to watch.