Admissions Guy 1: Why is he telling us who his family members are when he just spent the last five minutes telling us that in the first place?
Admissions Guy 2: That was only five minutes? Crap.
A picture of Annie after she gave birth to the twins reveals that her hair looks better after being in labor than it does regularly. Simon says that he and his siblings were "surprised" when their parents decided to have more children. Although wasn't that an accident that happened even though Annie was on birth control? Then Simon says that they shouldn't have been surprised, since his "mom and dad have always been hot for each other."
Admissions Guy 1: Oh -- oh dear.
Admissions Guy 2: He shouldn't know that.
Admissions Guy 1: We shouldn't know that.
We get Simon's admission of his parents' horniness, along with a smattering of images of the CamRents kissing closed-mouthed. Annie has her eyes open in every picture. How romantic!
And now we see a live-action Simon sitting in front of the camera, on a dark set with what appears to be a chain-link fence in the background. He says that his parents and their precious, precious love have set an example that everyone else wants to follow. "It's like being in seventh heaven," Simon says, "permanently." I know how he feels.
The opening credits have gone Growing Pains on us, with pictures of the family through the years that flash out of sync with the beats in the music. Too bad there's no a-cappella version of the theme song to complete the transformation. I'll admit, it was pretty nice to see the Original Gangsta Camdens (and those stupid twins, but whatever), and only the Original Gangsta Camdens, in the credits.
Admissions Guy 1: Why did he put opening credits in his video?
Admissions Guy 2: Ugh, check out that lady's poodle-do.
William Shakespeare would like you to know that love isn't easy. Simon says that no one has tried harder to have a relationship like the CamRents than Lucy.
Admissions Guy 1: And with a face like that, she must have had to try harder than anyone else.
Simon tells us about Lucy's first "true love," Jimmy Moon. We see that the Camdens have a framed picture of Jimmy and Lucy standing in front of their lockers somewhere in the house. Simon says he never liked Jimmy, and was glad when Jimmy dumped Lucy when she, on Simon's recommendation, dyed her hair blonde. Then we find out that, without Lucy in his life, Jimmy ended up getting "busted for pot" and becoming a "high school narc." The Camdens have a framed picture of Jimmy getting arrested in their living room. That's normal. The last time Simon saw him, Jimmy was a defendant in court and in desperate need of a moderate eating and exercise program.