Admissions Guy 1: Okay, but I don't really care about Simon's sisters or the rumors in his church. Why isn't this kid just telling us about all the clubs he was president of when he was in high school like everyone else?
Admissions Guy 2: Zzzz.
And now let's talk about how Mary and Lucy have a tendency to date the same guys. We'll start with Jordan, the thirty-five-year-old Sears catalogue model. Simon says he'll skip over their fight with the French guy, which is good because he never dated either of them, so it shouldn't count. That leads us to Robbie, who Lucy made out with because, as Simon says both braggingly and knowingly, she is "the queen of making out." In fact, she made out with all three of the Palmer brothers!
Admissions Guy 2: Ohmigod, is that Lance Bass?
Admissions Guy 1: Excuse me?
Admissions Guy 2: Uh nothing. Hey, that Lucy sure is easy! I wonder if she'd do me.
Admissions Guy 1: You'd hate yourself in the morning.