Immediately following this was a commercial for Zoloft, which was perfect.
"I don't know if I've ever had a normal friend," Simon says to begin the next segment.
Admissions Guy 1: Noooo! I'm shocked, I tell you! Shocked!
Admissions Guy 2: I'm just shocked that he's had any friends at all -- normal or not.
In fact, none of the CamKids has ever had a normal friend because everyone they've let into their house has had something wrong with them, as says judgmental bitch Ruthie. Now we get a stick-figure drawing with bad hair holding medical supplies with ambulance sound effects to represent either Matt or one of the men in white coats who took him away to "medical school." And then there's "Matt's List" of friends. Like "crazy senior citizen" Mrs. Bink; "pregnant teen" Renee, who Matt helped through labor, thus possibly starting his interest in gynecology; and "angel" Steve, a boy with a terminal illness. And then there's "Mother of a Thief" Emma Houten, whose son stole Annie's wedding rings.
Admissions Guy 1: And I'll bet she's absolutely thrilled to see that she'll be forever classified as the "mother of a thief."
Admissions Guy 2: Hey, better that than "crazy senior citizen."
"Guy headed for AA" wouldn't dump out his beer at Matt's party. Unless he was somehow holding ten beers and refused to dump them, I don't see how this makes him a future alcoholic. A "sensationalist" wrote a story about Matt in the school paper. "People-pleaser" Kevin got too drunk at a frat party and almost died. Shouldn't he be the guy headed for AA? "Cheater" was going to marry Heather until Matt found out that he was cheating on her and tattled on him. I saw that episode, and I think it's a bit of stretch to call "Cheater" one of Matt's friends. More of a stretch than the others, anyway. "Another pregnant teen" stole Matt's car. "Spoiled brat" cheated off of Matt's test and almost got him kicked out of school. And he was the son of richest guy in Glenoak, who apparently lives in a cheesy faux-Tudor house that's smaller than the CamPound. Cheryl is a "victim" because her mother's boyfriend called her stupid. And lastly, "pregnant woman" (not to be confused with "pregnant teen" or "another pregnant teen") would have died if Matt hadn't helped her. And that's it. Nothing about John, who Matt lived with for about a season, or Shana, or even Dwight? Dwight I should have expected, but John and Shana were in the opening credits and deserve a mention, at least.