7th Heaven
Simon's Home Video (a.k.a. The Kid Is Out Of The Picture)

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Of Camdens

Admissions Guy 1: I think it already has.

Annie's helped people, too. Her stick-figure gets a poodle-do redux and is surrounded by smaller stick figures representing her horrid children. She even has a stick-figure clownface. Such detail! Anyway, Annie once helped an "illiterate athlete," not by teaching him to read, but by introducing him to someone else who did that. After that, Annie starts getting categories instead of individual people, because the writers got bored. "The poor" are the church's finances. Because all the other poor people in town have already been classified as "victims," I guess. "The grieving" is a woman whose husband committed suicide. And then there's "the divorced," "the nosey," and "the inexperienced," a group of newlyweds whose marriages were helpfully destroyed by Annie and RevCam. Annie let a "homeless veteran" make her father and Ginger's wedding dinner. You'd really have to hate your dad to have his wedding reception catered by a homeless man, but it ended up working out. A kid who was "scared" about his parents having another child was introduced to SamVid, which probably bumped him up to "terrified." Annie's "ex-boyfriend" was obnoxious. I guess Annie didn't help him. "Unprepared pregnant teens" Cassie and Babs, however, did get help, as did Rita, who didn't know how to talk to her daughter about sex. Lastly, "unpleasant parents" always argued in front of their daughter Kristy.

Live-action Simon says that the CamRents have helped their children more than anyone else, especially when they've been in trouble. And they've been in "lots and lots of trouble."

Admissions Guy 1: Ah, we finally get to the good part.
Admissions Guy 2: Watching paint dry would qualify as the "good part" of this video.

Albert Einstein says that "only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and [he's] not sure about the former." Simon should have opened his video with that quotation; everything that came after it would have made a lot more sense. We see that the CamFridge is now plastered with 8x10 screen captures posing as family photos. Simon says that as PKs, the CamKids have found it hard to stay out of trouble. Even the twins stole money to pay for the church roof, and they also stole Pat Boone's hat.

A (real, not stick-figure) picture of Matt has been lamely decorated with a drawing of what looks like a huge blunt, but is probably supposed to be a cigarette, hanging out of his mouth, and a talk balloon that says "let's party!" Matt once borrowed the Meals on Wheels van…

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7th Heaven




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