7th Heaven
Simon's Home Video (a.k.a. The Kid Is Out Of The Picture)

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Of Camdens

Admissions Guy 1: What's up with that guy? He kind of looks like a robot.
Admissions Guy 2: I'm glad Simon put up a picture of Kevin in his police uniform, otherwise I wouldn't have known what he meant when he said Kevin was a cop. Because I'm totally stupid.

Also, Lucy wants to be a minister. Mary apparently wants to be Annie, since she's pregnant with a child at the age of twenty-two. Mary's married too, although she didn't tell anyone about it for a while. Now we meet Matt, who's twenty-four and in his second year of medical school along with his wife, Plot Contrivance. Matt and Sarah wear scrubs in all their pictures so you know that they're totally going to be doctors. Simon says that he knows that his family has married young, but it's "either get married and have sex, or don't get married and don't have sex" as a bunch of pictures of the CamKids making out with various girl and boyfriends fly by.

Admissions Guy 1: Wait, what?
Admissions Guy 2: I'm not sure which thing I should be questioning first: the fact that this kid has pictures of his siblings and himself making out with people, or the fact that everyone in his family got married only to have sex, or how sex before marriage has been ruled out as an option without any explanation.
Admissions Guy 1: I have a feeling that we don't want to know the answers to any of those questions.

Simon says that Ruthie better not be "wrestling" with anyone, especially not Peter. And then Simon briefly tells us that he has two twin brothers who are four. At this point, a picture of the twins wiggles around while stretchy sound effects play. Simon recaps the entire family for us, since exposition is awesome.

Admissions Guy 1: Why is he telling us who his family members are when he just spent the last five minutes telling us that in the first place?
Admissions Guy 2: That was only five minutes? Crap.

A picture of Annie after she gave birth to the twins reveals that her hair looks better after being in labor than it does regularly. Simon says that he and his siblings were "surprised" when their parents decided to have more children. Although wasn't that an accident that happened even though Annie was on birth control? Then Simon says that they shouldn't have been surprised, since his "mom and dad have always been hot for each other."

Admissions Guy 1: Oh -- oh dear.

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7th Heaven




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