7th Heaven
Simon's Home Video (a.k.a. The Kid Is Out Of The Picture)

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Of Camdens
Admissions Guy 2: Hey, better that than "crazy senior citizen."

"Guy headed for AA" wouldn't dump out his beer at Matt's party. Unless he was somehow holding ten beers and refused to dump them, I don't see how this makes him a future alcoholic. A "sensationalist" wrote a story about Matt in the school paper. "People-pleaser" Kevin got too drunk at a frat party and almost died. Shouldn't he be the guy headed for AA? "Cheater" was going to marry Heather until Matt found out that he was cheating on her and tattled on him. I saw that episode, and I think it's a bit of stretch to call "Cheater" one of Matt's friends. More of a stretch than the others, anyway. "Another pregnant teen" stole Matt's car. "Spoiled brat" cheated off of Matt's test and almost got him kicked out of school. And he was the son of richest guy in Glenoak, who apparently lives in a cheesy faux-Tudor house that's smaller than the CamPound. Cheryl is a "victim" because her mother's boyfriend called her stupid. And lastly, "pregnant woman" (not to be confused with "pregnant teen" or "another pregnant teen") would have died if Matt hadn't helped her. And that's it. Nothing about John, who Matt lived with for about a season, or Shana, or even Dwight? Dwight I should have expected, but John and Shana were in the opening credits and deserve a mention, at least.

Mary gets a stick-figure drawing of a girl playing basketball, along with basketball sound effects. Even though Mary "has often needed help herself," she still had friends. What a wonderful world we live in, where even people who "need help" can have friends. And of course, the statement that Mary has ever needed any help more than fashion advice is ridiculous. Mary's friends include "victim" Denise, who got teased by classmates while Mary stood around and watched. "Drug abuser" Diane took legal drugs and had a hilarious heart attack. Then Mary befriended a "child molester," who was actually a basketball coach who wanted to get with her. Not exactly a winning personality trait on his part, but not exactly a "child molester," either. Mary helped "teen mother" Corey get her sports award back. "Angel" Molly is retarded.

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7th Heaven




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