7th Heaven
Smoking

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Smoking

This week's Opening Credits Timewaster consists of the odious twins making sandwiches with Kevin. Quite frankly, I'm a little surprised that Annie would leave her young children alone with the cyborg. I mean, hasn't she ever seen Westworld? The T-1000 keeps smiling winsomely at the twins, but he sobers up quick when Lucy walks in. Ooh, it's the woman he "loves"! Thing One says, "I like Kevin." I guess that old adage about children and animals being good judges of character really is bullshit. When Lucy says, "I like Kevin too," Thing One replies, "Then marry him!" Thing Two chimes in with the same stupid sentiment. Good God. So, that's what kind of episode this is going to be. Once I'm through wrestling my gag reflex under control so I can play the tape again, I see Lucy harassing Kevin some more about his damn marriage proposal. Putrid excuses for characters. I wish they'd both die. After she storms off, Kevin calls her "crazy." But he obviously means she's crazy in that charming, endearing, hormonal way us women have. And, of course, he still loves her. A pointless shot of the twins overdramatically eating their sandwiches rounds off one of the worst scenes ever witnessed by mankind.

Back on the Promenade, Sid is seated at a café, reading a newspaper and drinking a beer while smoking a cigarette. Oh, my goodness. I'll bet he's looking at the X-rated classifieds too! RevCam comes over and gives him the third degree. Sid is polite to him, which is more than I could manage if confronted by some meddlesome stranger. RevCam starts lecturing him about the image he should be portraying. Just as he's really warming to the subject, Chandler walks over. This gives Sid the chance to refer to Eric as he asks his brother, "You know this weirdo?" Hey, a halfway decent intentional joke! Enjoy it while it lasts, because I have a feeling there won't be that many more jokes -- intentional ones, anyway. RevBong explains that RevCam is his boss. Turning to Chandler, Sid says, "So, this is the guy that hates your guts." Well, one of the guys, anyway. And let's not forget the women. Eric gets right down to the prying, as he tries to find out why Sid is in town. RevBong looks enormously peeved when he cuts the conversation short and says goodbye to Eric. Don't you wish everyone would put RevCam in his place like that?

Annie comes into Simon's room, pretending that she wants to have a lighthearted chat to catch up on all his news. He sees right through that and tries to reassure her that he's not smoking. She says she doesn't believe him. Boy, if it should turn out that he is telling the truth, I'm sure her accusations that he's lying will only strengthen their mother-son bond.

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7th Heaven

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