Freaks And Greeks
Matt and Leah have a study session. He stares at her and makes her uncomfortable. She asks him what his problem is, and he quotes Shakespeare. She continues the quote, and then asks him if she should give him oral sex right at the table. Then she tells him off for thinking that a few lines of Shakespeare will get him ladies. Matt says he's not like that. Leah insists that he is. Then she insists on studying. Horror.
A big red dildo flies through Heather's window. How are the KOKs still allowed to do this? Don't the DOG girls call the campus police about it? That is so dangerous (and expensive). Heather locks her bedroom door and looks at the dildo interestedly.
Harland comes into the kitchen with a used plunger and bitches that the girls are clogging the toilet too much. If someone came into my kitchen with a used plunger, he would be really sorry, because I would probably repay the favor by peeing all over his bed. Don't be walking into my dining space with used plungers, okay? The moustache girl is in the kitchen, and she's upset because she doesn't have a boyfriend and she doesn't know why. Harland teaches her how to shave her moustache.
Matt In Drag is doing Leah's hair, and trying to put in a good word for Matt Not In Drag. Leah is not having it. The braid Matt puts in Leah's hair is bad.
Lex is trying to enjoy some alone time in the bathroom. He takes off his wig and reads the sports section of the paper like a real man. Someone keeps knocking on the bathroom door to get in and won't leave him alone. What a bitch. Lex storms into the bedroom and says he's leaving. But Harland has a plan! He gives Lex a roofie and tells him to put it in Oily Guy's drink and take the tape. Lex refuses, but Matt says that he will be Lex's back-up. And he reminds Lex that the only way he's going to get a good job is by getting on the KOKtail Kruise. Then Lex has an out-of-place vision of working in a rest home.
Lex and Oily Guy enter Oily Guy's bedroom, and he turns out the lights, changes into his other outfit, the bathrobe, in less than a second, and turns the lights back on. Then he tries to make out with Lex, but Lex insists on having a drink first. Oily Guy fixes up drinks for both of them.