MONDO EXTRAS

The game starts, and the cool sorority girls are really intense. Harland catches the kickoff and is promptly kicked in the crotch by the other team. That's kind of weird, because I don't normally kick people I think are women in the crotch to make them fall over. I would probably kick them in the shins, or, if I could get the proper leg extension, the stomach. But the crotch? Not an area I would really consider. Anyways, Harland fumbles the ball; the cool sorority girls score, and he is out of the game. Lex is quarterbacking for his team, and he has really won me over. Lex is the only good thing about this movie. He looks like he's having fun with this, and that almost makes me think I'm having fun. Maybe that keg is starting to kick in. He throws to Matt, who gets rocked by the cool sorority girls so hard that he spins in mid-air. That was so gratifying to watch. He gets carried to the bench.

The KOKs fool around with the sprinkler system so that it goes off and all the cool sorority girls get wet t-shirts. Wow, sweet -- I can see their boobs through their shirts, kind of. That's really exciting for a heterosexual gal like me. Go, boobs. Lex is angry because the KOKs just used his patented trick. He sacks the cool sorority quarterback for revenge. The KOKs boo. Lex runs in a touchdown and does a victory dance. But his happiness is short-lived, because the cool sisters decide to bring his fat ass down. While he's hiking the ball -- and I have no idea how he could have just scored a touchdown and then gotten possession of the ball again, but whatever -- one of the girls stands up and announces that Oily Guy had anal sex with him. Lex is distracted and gets nailed by the girls, who then crowd around him and kick him wimpily. How is that not against the rules? They have a real referee for this game with yellow flags and everything -- why doesn't he call a penalty? I hate it when people get to cheat in movies when they'd never get away with that in real life. Lex gets sent to the bench, but is able to give the DOGs a peptalk about how they can do whatever they set their minds to. I really like Lex.