Freaks And Greeks
In bed, Matt smells himself and decides to take a shower. Matt gets into the bathroom, and never has one person looked so happy to be taking a shower, except for maybe the women in those stupid Herbal Essences commercials. Uh oh! Leah just entered the bathroom to take a shower too! Fortunately she doesn't have her contacts in and thus can't see that Matt has a penis. I'm not going to make a joke about how small said penis must be. Oops, I just did! Sorry, Barry Watson, but you set yourself up for it! Matt lathers up so that Leah won't notice he's a guy. Right now I wish that I were as blind as Leah, because I have to look at Barry Watson shirtless and it's gross. But it will get worse, so just bear with me. Leah washes her pert bare breasts and then OH MY GOD THEY DIDN'T! Give me a few seconds here, this is really bad they show Matt's lather-covered crotch region, and a suspicious-looking cylinder um rises up out of the bubbles. Why? WHY?! Oh, God, then Leah drops her washcloth and it lands on the protuberance and I have to see it again. Matt runs out of the bathroom and we have to see his naked butt and I am officially earning every cent I'm getting to write this recap.
In the morning, Lex tries to pack himself into a tight miniskirt. He asks how he looks, and Matt tells him that he's missing a boob. Lex wonders what happened to it, then sees that Harlan is eating the grapefruit that he was using for a boob. A grapefruit for a boob? Those things are heavy and rather unwieldy. Why not just use socks? Not that I would know anything about what material is best for stuffing one's bra. Really, I'm quite an ample woman. Lex gets himself properly stuffed, and Matt puts some hairspray in his woman wig. What is the point of that?
Lex tries to walk in high heels and has little luck. Matt runs into a storage closet and changes into his real clothes and walks into his first class, Women's Studies. Some flaky lady is the professor and he's the only man in the class. Of course. The Prof tells Matt he's in the wrong place, but Matt is taking the class to fulfill some requirement. He sits down next to Leah and the Giantess.
In a hallway, Lex spots President HH and the Token Black Frat Brother talking about the party last night, and how generous President HH was to put up the money for it himself. Suddenly, Oily Guy comes up and invades Lex's personal space in a harassing and threatening manner.