7th Heaven
Sorority Boys

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Freaks And Greeks

Matt, Lex, and Harland Williams get chased out of the frat, and for some reason they aren't wearing pants. And now it's nighttime and they're sitting in Matt's BMW. Harland Williams wants to split the money and go their separate ways. Ew, there's a close-up of Harland's face and he has three chins. Lex and Matt explain to Harland that they don't have the money because President HH framed them and took it for himself. Matt leaves to go deal with his father, whatever that means.

Matt's dad -- who is not RevCam in this film, unfortunately for all you Stephen Collins fans. And I know there's got to be one or two. At the very least, his wife. Anyway -- Matt's dad tells him that he's set his son up with a really good interview on the KOKtail Kruise. Whoops! Matt's dad further rubs it in by sliding Matt over to his colleagues, who also apparently were KOK members. They are all misogynistic. Matt's dad then insists that Matt do "the strut" for everyone. What does that mean? I don't know, but Matt goes into a slightly advanced version of the chicken dance until he does a lame pratfall.

Back at the BMW, Lex asks if he was made to do the strut. Oh, good -- they put a hat on Lex so I don't have to see his fake hair. I wish they would give Matt a hat too. And give Harland a paper bag. A full-body paper bag. Matt tells Lex that if the guy he has an interview with finds out they stole money from KOK, they'll never get jobs. So they'll just have to prove that President HH stole the money. Harland pipes up about some videotape -- apparently, Lex has a motion-activated video camera set on his bed that clandestinely records him having sex with all the cool sorority sisters. Harland found all his tapes one day and masturbated to them. I am not quite sure what this movie is going to do to make me actually like these main characters, but it will have to involve giving me a lot of money and doing my dishes at the very least. Harland continues that the tape shows the safe at all times, so there would be a recording of President HH stealing the money. Lex points out that they can't get the tape because they aren't allowed in the KOK house. "The only thing walking through that door is tits!" he says. But Harland has "a plan." I wonder if it will involve them dressing up as women? Just a hunch.

Three women come to the door of the KOK house -- but they look strangely familiar! Wait a minute -- it's Matt, Lex, and Harland in drag! That's hilariously original! Matt looks surprisingly good as a woman, by the way, and Lex kind of does too. Sadly, Harland has managed to make himself even uglier. They enter the party and split up. Lex goes to his room to get the tape, but that little oily guy is in there. He says that this is his room now since he's the new head of the Social Committee. Then he rubs his nipple. Guys rubbing their own nipples? Never funny. Then he closes the door when Lex tries to leave, which is, like, so wrong that it wouldn't be funny even if it were actually funny, which it isn't. Did that make sense? Anyway, then oily guy takes his robe off, and there's a small penis joke. ["Wait, is it a small joke about a penis, or a joke about a small…okay, you know what? I don't want to know." -- Sars]

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7th Heaven

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