7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C- | 363 USERS: C+
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In the pool hall, Chandler nervously drinks water. Roxanne's dad walks up, sees the Rev, and instantly disapproves. It's some fine facial acting. Better than "smelled a fart" -- more along the lines of Harrison Ford's moral outrage in Six Days, Seven Nights. Chandler leaps up and says yes...he is...Chandler. Roxy's Dad fully ignores the Rev's outstretched hand and goes for the obvious dig: "You're not a real doctor, are you?" No, he's not. He's a phdoctor. The lamest kind. Next to oral surgeons. Roxy's Dad says the Rev can call him detective, takes his gun out, and puts it on the table, and after making it clear that he doesn't want the Rev anywhere near his daughter, asks how he can make the Rev "go away." I find that turning off the WB on Mondays at eight works pretty well. But feel free to resort to violence. Roxy's Dad is hell-bent on getting rid of the Rev. But Chandler keeps saying stupid shit like he loves her and isn't going away. Roxy's Dad says with extreme gravitas, "Then we don't have anything more to talk about." What a dick!

CamPound. Lucy wants to talk to her dad. He asks about the wedding plans, and she says to ask Mom. Then she laughs a little and says that since she isn't getting anything she wants at her wedding, she's glad at least Eric will be marrying her. So thanks for that, Dad. Then Eric leans in, looks her dead in the eyes, and says he DOESN'T WANT TO MARRY HER AND KEVIN. Lucy is all, "You don't?" Eric just wants to give them away, "like a regular dad." And he adds that if he returns to the church for the wedding, then all the focus will be on him, not on his wizened-faced daughter. How is it that every member of this family thinks they're the center of the universe? Shouldn't at least one of them be filled with loathing for the rest's extreme self-centeredness? This family should start a competitive sport based on their selfishness. And they would all come in first place. Lucy takes the news that her dad is a colossal tool like a champ, and even offers the info that Annie is planning a wedding/Eric's return to the flock. Eric is all, "Someone will have to tell her." Yeah, where can we find someone with a spine? Don't look at me. Sars? You want to do it? ["No." -- Sars] Lucy actually volunteers to tell her mom that Eric is a passive-aggressive jitbag. Eric smiles and dances out of the room, leaving Lucy to roll her eyes so deeply that she bruises her brain. I can't blame her.

7th Heaven

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