7th Heaven
Stand Up

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now!
Stand down

Eric's sitting and moping on the porch. Lucy comes out and tells her dad he's "not regular." Well, she's got that right. "You're a minister." Oh, she meant that. Lucy tells her dad of her dream of marrying Brad Pitt and having her dad officiating over the ceremony. "It's time to go back to the church. Please don't let me down!" Annie comes out to eavesdrop or alert her brood that more vittles are on the table, and hears her stupid husband say, "Look out, Chandler, daddy's coming home!" The clarinet goes into overdrive as Lucy bursts into tears and Annie makes her patented sad pumpkin face and looks up at the ceiling, or "heavens," or whatever the fuck. Lucy sobs and runs inside past her mom (way to celebrate with family, right), and Eric tells Annie that he's "back." She says tearfully, "Welcome back, Reverend Eric Camden!" Oh, boo hoo!

Dénouement at Cecilia's house. Uncle Walter comes in and is all, "What's Simon Camden doing here? I thought you fired him." Sure, he did get fired. But could you explain the books, Uncle Walter? They look a little cooked. And not in a delicious way. Cecilia's dad is all, "Walter. How could you." He says he didn't know he was being stolen from because he "trusted" Walter. And how did he "repay that trust? By stealing." Wow, talk about a serpent eating his tail, right? I'd say Walter stole because his employer was an easy mark and not paying attention; the trust is just an added benefit that helped nail Simon in the ass. Walter is handed to the crooked Glenoak cops, and then Simon is given a nice apology. And thank Cecilia; her dad never saw her fight so hard for anyone before. Not even at the Justin Timberlake in-store appearance in Hollywood? I saw her break Courtney Love's implant and feed it to a dog.

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7th Heaven




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