7th Heaven
Stand Up

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D+ | Grade It Now!
Stand down

CamPound. Lucy confronts SuperMom in the kitchen, where she is thanklessly preparing a meal. Lucy tells her that there is nothing she doesn't hate about her wedding plans, and that Eric won't officiate over the ceremony. Annie is appropriately ruffled and huffy. Lucy says she wants roses, not orchids, and her own dress, and mainly that she wants what she wants because her wedding day is about her, the bride, and Lucy is the bride, not Annie. Annie almost looks like she wants to break free of her domestic chains, but mainly she just pouts selfishly.

Ben sits outside a fancy latticed fence with his bogus dog. His boss the fire chief comes out and asks that Ben show him some of the training Ben and Carson have run through in the past month. "Puppy stuff! Like heel, stay..." The new fake dog lies down at "heel" and runs away at "stay." It would be almost comic if it weren't so stupid and obvious. The fire chief is all, "Want me to try? Carson, heel!" And the real Carson runs out and says, "Hey, today's videos on TRL are Justin Timberlake and 50 Cent! Plus, Joe Millionaire is here for us to point and laugh at!" I mean, the golden retriever Carson runs out. The fire chief was just messing with Ben. Ho ho ho.

The CamPound's doorbell goes ding-dong. Simon answers it, and it's Cecilia's dad. Simon hands him the envelope of cash and asks what he's going to do. Cecilia's dad says heavily that he may press charges, but he wants to consider Cecilia's feelings. And he's sure that the police will take into consideration that it's Simon's first offense, and that he returned the money he stole. Simon is aghast, flustered, and dumb enough to have not seen this coming. His voice rises three octaves as he stammers that Walter stole the money, not him, and he even tried to bribe him! Cecilia's dad is not. Having it. Walter is Cecilia's godfather! He's known him for twenty years! There's no way he could duh!

Simon's on the phone explaining to Cecilia that he didn't steal the money, Walter did. She tells him he's not a thief, and he says, "Bye." Wow, what an abrupt end to a conversation. Cecilia's dad walks in and says, "No. More Simon. First the condoms and the sex, then the stealing, what's next, knocking over liquor stores?" Wow, that almost scans. It has a nice flow. Eminem could have written that line. But he has better things to do, like train protégés and keep his ex-wife in a wing of one of his mansions. Cecilia says she believes Simon, and that if Walter is stealing, her dad "needs to know. Just check it out." Yeah, it's called security cameras, look into it.

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7th Heaven




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