7th Heaven
Stuck In The Middle With You

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Cutting a rug

Lucy has to choose between two boys, both of whom are not exactly prizes, and Annie's father comes to visit, causing all kinds of problems. Also, Ruthie has a new pet and lots and lots of death ensues.

We open at the high school, where Lucy just found out that her ex-boyfriend Jimmy Moon broke up with Ashley. She starts reminiscing about her time with Jimmy Moon. She does this in a black-and-white montage complete with a song in French with violins and a piano. I usually reminisce a bit less fancily that, but we can't all be elaborate. Ah, there's the time Jimmy turned around and looked at her with a blank expression on his face. And there's the time when they watched a movie in the CamDen, and he put his arm around her with a blank expression on his face. And there's that time when they almost kissed in the movies with a blank expression on his face. We also see shots of Lucy (in color) making the creepiest smile. It looks like she has no upper lip. Then we get Jimmy breaking up with Lucy because she dyed her hair blonde. She says she'll find someone who likes her as a blonde. He blankly says, "Good luck." I think it would have been really cool if "Cold As Ice" by Foreigner came in now, but it doesn't. The montage ends. Lucy's smile has thankfully disappeared. Suddenly, Rod walks up behind her. Poor Rod. He looks like he could be attractive, but they gave him this woman's short hairstyle from the eighties and a pathetic moustache that looks like a hairy carrot got glued to his face. "Hola Camdens," he says. Because I took Spanish for five years, I know that what he said was "hello Camdens." But wait -- Camdens? Ah yes, there's Matt and Mary there also, because it's really cool when brothers and sisters hang out with each other in high school. "Como estas?" says Rod. I would have put an upside-down question mark in the front of his sentence so it would look more authentico but I don't know how to do that. Rod explains in English that he is "staking out" his "territory." Is he a wolf? Then he asks Lucy if they are seeing each other. Lucy gives him an open mouth of indecision as she looks over at Jimmy Moon, whose locker is conveniently near them. He gives her a blank look. Matt and Mary look at each other. Lucy says she'll think about it. Rod looks confused, then walks over to the water fountain to pee on it so everyone will know that this is his territory. Jimmy gives Lucy a blank smile. I didn't know that was even possible, but there it is. Opening credits time!

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7th Heaven

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