Lucy is telling off Matt and Simon. She doesn't want everyone getting in her business when she has such a hard choice to make. Simon says that Rod is the best choice. Matt says that Jimmy is better because he may be dull, but at least he isn't weird. Simon says that he would pick weird over dull any day. Lucy asks them where they got the idea that Rod is weird and Jimmy is dull. Matt answers, "Reality." Well, except that I would call them both dull. And everyone else on the show. That's my reality. ["And Matt is both dull and weird, so I don't know who he thinks he's talking to." -- Sars] Simon says his money's on Rod. Matt says that his is on Jimmy. Lucy goes ballistic at the thought that they are placing bets on "the greatest decision [she's] ever had to make in [her] life." It's no big decision for me to call Lucy the most pathetic person ever. Matt points out that they're not using real money, they're using Monopoly money. This makes Lucy even angrier, and she lets out a grunt of frustration and leaves the room.
Out in the hall, Lucy is sulking. Annie walks up to her and pretends to be concerned about the Rod and Jimmy question. Lucy suddenly goes off on Annie and tells her that this is all her fault because Lucy isn't allowed to use the phone and her parents weren't home to keep her brothers away from her potential boyfriends. Annie sighs and says she has to go to bed. She leaves Lucy with something about Lucy not having trouble making up her mind if one of them was "the guy."
We're back in Ruthie's room with those goddamn lizards. Mary's there too, because she has no life. They open the box and say "ew" in unison for no good reason. They discuss the possibility that the male lizard (named "Lizzie") ate Lester's eggs. Ruthie thinks that RevCam should talk to them. Mary points out that they're lizards. I point out that Ruthie is one too, and that never stopped RevCam before. Mary ruffles Ruthie's hair and leaves. Ruthie decides to counsel her lizards herself. That's neither cute nor humorous.
Now we're back to Lucy, who is pacing around her room. Does anyone actually do that? Mary enters, and Lucy runs to hug her in a way that doesn't look staged or unnatural at all. Lucy tells Mary that she is the only one who can help her decide between Rod and Jimmy. Mary tells her to dump them both. I start to think that Mary is the smartest person in that house, until she starts saying how great it is to not have a boyfriend because you don't have to wait by the phone all the time, always look good, and tell some guy where you are and what you're doing all the time. Then I realize that Mary is as pathetic as her sister. Lucy points out that Mary never does any of those things when she does have a boyfriend, and Mary says that this shows that she can be herself AND have a boyfriend. Wow, congratulations to Mary for having healthy relationships. Lucy doesn't care about all this; she just wants to know which guy to pick. Then she rubs Mary's nose in the fact that she has two guys to choose from, unlike Mary, who has zero. Then she walks out looking all snotty. Then she walks back in and tells us she forgot where she was going. Mary laughs at her. I don't.