Simon's still on the phone. He says, "It doesn't make any difference to me, either. It's like I know you so well. Like we really know so much about each other already. Yeah, it is weird. Isn't it great?" Oh, no. Simon met a dirty old man on the Internet. That has to be it.

Mike the Formerly Suicidal Boy comes to the CamPound to see Lucy. RevCam introduces him to Robbie. Mike spews all the gossip he knows about Robbie by way of introductory pleasantries. Lucy comes down in her ugly robe and hauls Mike to the living room. RevCam suggests that he and Robbie have a sandwich and a chat. "Sure, what can I make you?" asks Robbie. Eric is surprised but pleased. "Robbie will be a better wife to me than Annie ever was!" we see him thinking.

Mike tells Lucy that he got early acceptance to college. "Yes!" she yells. She asks why he didn't come over to tell her earlier, then assumes he was on a date, then forgives him for being on a date since they aren't exclusive, then gives him a slight guilt trip about not telling her first, anyway. I think we're supposed to infer from this behavior that Lucy's jealous. Mike just looks at her like she's rude, echoing my actual thoughts.

RevCam compliments Robbie's sandwich-making skills. Robbie proffers this tip for gourmands: he mixed the ketchup with a little mayo. "Sort of a Russian dressing," he explains. Matt walks in on his well-worn mooching trail. He's inordinately annoyed by Robbie's presence. Lucy stalks in and says, "Mike had a date!" No one cares. Matt pissily questions his father. Watch out, Matt. You're about to be replaced by a man who creates Russian dressing from common household condiments.

Mary, in her absolute tons of make-up, calls the CamPound, only to be hung up on by Ruthie. She calls again and says, "Ruthie, it's Mary!" "Yeah, I know," says Ruthie before hanging up again. Mary calls back and yells for Ruthie to put Annie on the phone. "Whatever you say," says her little sister. Then she hangs up. It would have been funny if I didn't hate this show. Ruthie runs upstairs.