7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
admin: C- | Grade It Now!

Right before I started writing this recap, I had the weirdest dream. My parents were living with us in our apartment, and someone had given us a list of all the Muslims in our building, so my mom was putting together gift baskets for them for Ramadan. My husband had made cards to go along with the baskets. The cards were quite pretty, though they did contain images of Santa in his sleigh. We all thought this was a fabulous idea at the time. When I woke up, I was scared that Brenda Hampton had gotten into my head somehow and started scripting my dreams, a situation which would call for an immediate exorcism. Then I realized that at least the people in my dream could actually act. But that's about the only thing that differentiates the dream from this episode on the absurdity scale. I want to give credit to Brenda for attempting to deal with a difficult topic, but this episode is so bad that I can't quite bring myself to give her that credit. At least my stupid dream was entertaining, unlike this episode, or the dream I had last week, in which I had to baby-sit Simon and Ruthie and Simon kept wetting his pants every five minutes. But that's another story. Well, if you guessed that I'm procrastinating because I can't stomach the idea of watching this episode again, you're right. I suppose I can't avoid it forever, though.

The show begins with the type of scene you'd expect to find as an Opening Credits Timewaster. Unfortunately, we're not that far into the show yet. Ruthie is skulking around the backyard of the CamPound. She dashes to the back door and then checks to see if there's anyone in the CamKitchen. When she sees that the coast is clear, she turns around and beckons to someone to follow her. Oh, the suspense!

Upstairs, RevCam has just finished changing the twins' clothes. In a colossal waste of film stock, he explains to the kids that food doesn't belong on their clothes or on the floor. No, it belongs in their mouths. Thanks for the PSA, RevCam. I'm sure we're all grateful.

Eric hustles the kids down to the kitchen, where Ruthie motions to her little friend that they should hide behind the kitchen island. When Eric opens the refrigerator, the girls run into the front hallway. Happy starts barking, so Ruthie says, "We'll have to make a break for the garage." RevCam checks out the front hallway, then starts doing some unfunny shtick where he keeps turning around suddenly to see if someone's sneaking up on him. Annie walks into the CamKitchen with some groceries and asks RevCam why he's so jumpy. He does that turning-around-quickly thing once more, while SuperMom rolls her eyes and looks annoyed.

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7th Heaven




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