7th Heaven
Talk To Me

Episode Report Card
Gwen: D | Grade It Now!
Talk To Me

Annie and Eric are minutely inspecting the mini-van. Mary's breasts and then Mary and the other kids come out into the yard. They ask if anything's wrong with the "car." RevCam doesn't know -- is there? The kids don't know. You tell them. Suddenly Ruthie smirks and shoves Mary on the ass. "Take her! She's already BEEN to jail!" she says unfunnily. After five years of repetition and poor acting, it's ascertained that no one's in trouble. RevCam explains about the Troubled Youth who visited his office. Mary makes a constipated face to let us know that she psychically figured out exactly who the Troubled Youth was. Everyone else uses their own ESP to interpret her expression and send her telepathic looks. "WHAT?" says Mary. She says that the CamRents have been talking to her all year long. She looks like she's lost some weight. The bones are visible in her neck and she's wearing a tighter t-shirt than ever before. I hope this propels her into the skanky movie roles she's hoping for. Mary asks that the CamRents save their catch-up conversations with the others until after dinner. The Lighthearted Acoustic Guitar plays. I'm glad it does, because it's the only thing that keeps me from crying.

Ruthie sits in the living room telling her dad about a smelly classmate named Maryanne. Annie, meanwhile, sits in Simon's room and listens to him brag about pranks played on a substitute teacher and led by his funny friend Luke. The CamRents don't seem to be enjoying the conversations very much.

In their room, Lucy tells Mary that she's made a list of things to discuss with their parents. Mary states with relief that the CamRents already know everything about her. Somehow, Lucy guesses that Mary's hiding something about someone else. Mary refuses further comment. Lucy looks sad. Poor little Nosy Parker. ["Shouldn't that be 'Nosy Parker Junior'?" -- Sars]

Hanks shows up at the Bachelor Pad with luggage. When Matt answers the door, I can see nipplage through his t-shirt and I feel queasy. Apparently, Julie kicked Hank out of the house because of what Matt said. Oh, those wacky female histrionics! John and Matt protest Hank's inviting himself to move in. Matt says they don't have anything but Spam and a bag of chips. Hank soberly declares, "I can make a lovely casserole out of that." That was kind of funny. Then Hank whips out an American Express card and says, "The delivery menus, please." The boys are suddenly enthused by his visit.

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7th Heaven




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