If you've got a crap heart like RevCam, please don't read any further, because I have something to tell you that is quite shocking indeed: a character on this show is leaving a message on someone's answering machine. It's Kevin, and he's telling Carlos all about how Kirstie Alley is fat and what time is it in New York City right now, anyway? How rude are the Camdens to call a newly single father in the middle of the night like that? That's worse than my granddad, who has been known to call my parents at like seven or eight on a weekend morning. At least my granddad has an excuse, that being that he's eighty and he lives in England, and sometimes figuring out the time zones is tricky. ["Also, grandparents do this. My grandma's favorite time to phone me for a chat when I was in college was at 8 AM on Sunday mornings." -- Sars] Kevin hangs up, and Lucy asks him when Simon will find out if "his girlfriend passed along her little problem to him." We find out that Prof. Slut has an STD, and Simon is freaking that she may have passed it on to him. Well, that was worth all the build-up, wasn't it? Excuse me for sounding bitter, but I was really hoping that Prof. Slut told Simon that she was actually a he, which would have explained his reaction a lot better. I really don't understand why he was so upset about the possibility of having an STD, especially when most of them are very easily curable, especially on college campuses. Or so I've been told. I guess if Prof. Slut had AIDS, that would make sense, except that this show probably believes that AIDS is a gay disease, and gay people don't even exist on this show, so therefore, AIDS does not exist on this show. Or maybe Prof. Slut has herpes, except that Kevin says that Simon will get his test results back in a few days, and herpes isn't something you can find out if you have or not if it's only been a few days since the possible transmission. In fact, I don't know that ANY STD is. It usually takes a little longer than that for it to reach levels that will show up on a test, doesn't it? Anyway, I don't even know why I'm questioning this, seeing as how ridiculous it is that Prof. Slut would have sex with someone while infected with an STD and then tell him about AFTER the fact, like, either you want him to know about it beforehand or you don't want him to know at all, right? Why on earth would you want to expose someone to something and then admit that you knowingly did so, unless you're a two-dimensional fictional character whose sole purpose it is to Teach Us A Lesson?