Lucy and Happy enter Ruthie's room. Happy has been looking small lately; did they replace her? How many "Happy as Happy"s has this series gone through, anyway? And if they can recast Happy, why can't they recast SamVid? Ruthie and Lucy talk in circles about Kirstie Alley's weight problem, and whether or not they should tell the CamRents about it before Annie goes to New York. And then they sit around and talk shit about Mary, because this is everyone on this show's favorite hobby. Martin enters. Ruthie tells Lucy that Martin knows that Kirstie Alley is fat, and he told Mac and Vincent about it, too. Martin apologizes for this and asks Ruthie if she knows about Vincent. Ruthie says she knows all about how Kirstie Alley is fat and she doesn't mind, since Vincent told her the truth about it. Then Kevin enters the room and tells Lucy that Savannah needs her. Lucy asks if Kevin talked to Simon. "Goodnight!" Kevin quickly says to Martin and Ruthie as he grabs Lucy by the arm and pulls her out of the room. Hooray for harbingers of domestic violence!
Simon sits around, looking close to tears. Really, is whatever news (I know what it was, but I'm not going to spoil it for you!) Prof. Slut had for Simon so bad that he's going to blow a Saturday night crying about it? The worse the news is, the more partying Simon should be doing right now. But no, since Simon is a loser Camden, he's sitting home by himself. Or not, since RevCam has just arrived for a surprise visit! Wow, that sucks. Not as bad as it's going to suck for Carlos when Annie shows up on his doorstep, however. Simon smiles when he sees his dad at the door, but whatever nice, warm, family moment this show might have just conjured up in my dark heart is ruined when I remember that the only reason RevCam is at Simon's apartment is to weasel information out of him, and not because he cares about helping Simon through whatever difficult situation he's in.
Back from commercial, RevCam says it's time to get back home. That was a quick visit, but not too quick for RevCam to miss getting in some digs at Simon for having premarital sex with lots of girls. We also learn that RevCam justified his visit to Simon by lying that he had to visit a family in the area for his ministerial duties. Simon asks RevCam if he talked to Matt lately, and lies he left that message for Matt because he was having a problem with his calculus class. He asks RevCam what, exactly, was the nature of his visit to that nearby family. In a very impressive display of on-the-spot lying, a skill no doubt honed through years of experience, RevCam lies that the family had a "surprise wedding" because one of them got pregnant, just like Simon almost had to do because of all the evil sex he has. Simon accuses RevCam of lying. RevCam lies that he isn't lying, then says that Simon is real liar here, and he really wants to know what trouble Simon is in. He asks if Simon made up that whole story about Kirstie Alley being fat to deflect the CamRents' attention away from his troubles. Simon admits that he did, in fact, lie about Kirstie Alley, but it was to deflect attention away from Mary's troubles, not his own. RevCam asks Simon to tell him what is really going on with Mary.