Annie's on the phone with Carlos. She says she's glad to hear from him, as Mary has been mysteriously out of touch lately. "Lately" being the last four seasons, of course. The CamRents have been calling and calling, but Mary never calls back. I can't imagine why, seeing as when Mary does actually talk to her family, they probably waste her cell phone minutes telling her what a stupid and horrible person she is for being the only Camden to actually maintain an independent adulthood. Annie asks Carlos to "bring [Charles] by" some weekend, as if three-thousand-mile distances are just that easy to traverse, even with the free plane tickets. Shut up, Annie. We see Ruthie standing at the bottom of the staircase, apparently spying on Annie despite the fact that she's standing in plain sight. She might want to re-take RevCam's Stalking 101 class. That said, sometimes you can overhear the juiciest stuff this way. Once, I was just standing around in my high school hallway when I overheard my English teacher telling my history teacher that she wanted to strangle me. Come to think of it, Annie reminds me of my English teacher, except that Annie dresses better and is prettier and has better hair. But enough of that; Annie starts not-so-subtly asking Carlos if there's any news, like, say, Mary being pregnant. Ruthie runs upstairs.

She finds Lucy busily engaged in her homework for her latest lesson in her Good Wifery class: bed-making. Ruthie reports that Annie is giving Carlos the "Spanish Inquisition." Is that supposed to be a reference to Carlos's ethnicity? Probably not, but it's not like this show would look any worse if they did start making racist puns. Lucy clumsily exposits that Carlos won't be telling Annie anything about Mary being pregnant, since Mary isn't actually pregnant. By the way, more than half of this episode's lines are just exposition of stuff that either happened last week or earlier in the same episode, which is even more exposition than this show usually has. I think it's because now that Brenda Hampton is dividing her time between this show and the new show that someone was stupid enough to give her, Fat Actress, her commitment to script quality has actually lessened. So, in honor of this, whenever someone says something in this episode that we already know, I'm just going to write "Kirstie Alley is fat." This is a lot shorter than writing out what the people actually say, and if Brenda Hampton can make her job easier, then I certainly can too. Onward!

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