7th Heaven
Tangled Web We Weaved

Episode Report Card
Sara M: F | Grade It Now!
You Can't Spell "Exposit" Without S-E-X

Vincent walks back to his date and lies that the movie they were going to see is sold out. Then he admits that he only asked her out because he was angry at his girlfriend for not wanting to go out with him. The girl takes this amazingly well, and says that if Vincent ever asks her out again, she'll have to say no because of this. But she thanks him for his honesty, because that is the moral of this week's episode.

Kevin finally enters the show. Lucy won't let him kiss their daughter because he's drunk. Kevin snaps that he isn't drunk; in fact, he hasn't even had anything to drink tonight at all. He was only at the Pool Hall for such a long time because things are so awkward in the CamPound what with Kirstie Alley being so fat and all. Kevin says he can't believe Lucy would lie to her parents, being a minister and all. Yes, but she's a minister in the Church of Selective Moral Applications, so it's probably fine. Lucy counters that Kevin lies too: for instance he just lied that he didn't have anything to drink at the Pool Hall. Kevin says he wasn't lying about that. Nice example, Lucy. Good luck on your future endeavors. Suddenly, Kevin remembers he has to call Simon back. He does, and leaves a message. Lucy says Simon called Kevin because it's been, like, three scenes since someone was on the phone and we are WAY overdue. Also because Kirstie Alley is fat.

Downstairs, Ruthie is rummaging around in the fridge. There's a knock at the back door, and then Vincent's voice announces his arrival. Who knocks and then just starts yelling like that? It's either one or the other; not both. Ruthie opens the door, and Vincent asks her about her "family crisis." Oh my god, "crisis"? Seriously? Is Kirstie Alley being fat really a crisis? Why can't something happen to these people so that things can get put in perspective for them, like a mudslide or an earthquake or any of the thousand other extremely dangerous natural events that seem to plague California? I, for one, wouldn't object to Lucy dying in a freak kitchen accident, thus showing the Camdens how fleeting your time with your loved ones can be, so appreciate it while it's there.

Vincent asks Ruthie why she didn't just tell him about the "crisis" instead of lying that she wanted to spend the evening with SamVid. Ruthie simply answers that she didn't want Vincent to know. Then she realizes that Martin has been going around telling everyone about Kirstie Alley's weight problem. Vincent says he wanted Ruthie to know that he was on a date with another girl, which he was doing because Kirstie Alley is fat. I don't really like Vincent all that much, but I have to give him credit for knowing the Camdens well enough to race to the CamPound and tell Ruthie what happened before anyone else could. Ruthie doesn't really mind, and points out that this means she can go out with other guys. Vincent says he hopes she doesn't, "not until [they]'re not seeing each other anymore, at least." Uh..."at least"? Hey, everyone, please meet Vincent, Future Psycho Possessive Ex-Boyfriend! Vincent tells Ruthie to call her if she ever needs to talk about her problems. He's so gay.

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7th Heaven




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