7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
admin: B | 1 USERS: A+

Over at the high school, some twenty-something extras are pretending to be high school students who are teasing another student about his hair. Displaying a really bad, mocking fake New Jersey accent, one guy says, "That was probably cool back in Joisey [sic], but here it's just…" he struggles for a while, but all he comes up with is the word "stupid." Were the writers too lazy to hit Shift-F7 and use the Thesaurus function? I'll admit, Microsoft Word's selection of synonyms for "stupid" is not the best in the world -- and believe me, I've certainly had occasion to investigate this over the past two years of recapping 7th Heaven -- but surely the writers can do better than that. I should point out that Tormented Boy's hair, while not stunningly beautiful, is no worse than anyone else's on this show. It's just a little messy and shapeless, that's all. It's nothing compared to one tormentor's ridiculous boomerang-shaped sideburns, or any number of Camden hair atrocities from shows past. ["And what's with the dissing Jersey?" -- Sars] Tormented Boy tries to leave, but Boomerang Burn won't let him. He pushes Tormented Boy against the bank of lockers. Actually, he lightly grabs Tormented Boy's shoulder and gently moves him back against the locker, but the sound effects would make you think he slammed him with a vengeance. I love it when shows have really poor production values.

Simon comes to the rescue, which is good of him. What's not so good is what he tells the tormentors, "For all you know, [Tormented Boy's] gonna come to school with a gun and shoot innocent students like me because he's angry at idiots like you, all right?" Wha…? Where the hell did that come from? Aren't the writers even going to try to set up plots with a semblance of reality or good storytelling? Maybe next week they should start by having one of the characters read off the episode description from TV Guide. Then they could show some footage of ant farms for the next fifty minutes and wrap it all up with a Very Important Lecture from RevCam about the Very Important Issue the show was to have dealt with. Better yet, they could get Notch Johnson from Son of the Beach to wrap it up. Back on screen, Tormented Boy leaves, and one of the tormentors warns Simon, "Don't ever embarrass us like that again." I think he's referring to Simon standing up for Tormented Boy, though maybe he's actually talking to his agent about this 7th Heaven gig.

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7th Heaven




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