7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Cate: B | 1 USERS: A+

After the tormentors leave, we see a teacher come out of a classroom at the end of the hall. Still on a roll, Simon accosts the man and says, "You had to have just heard that." I'm not sure why Simon would assume that, since the teacher had been inside a classroom that's at least fifteen feet away, and the door to the classroom was closed. The only thing the teacher could have heard were the fake-o slamming sound effects when Boomerang Burn pushed Tormented Boy against the lockers. But why should I worry about whether this scene is realistic? Obviously, no one working on the show does. Simon bitches at the teacher for a bit, to little avail. Finally, Simon yells out, "So what are we going to do about this?" The teacher answers the question by walking as far away from Simon as he can possibly get.

After the opening credits, we hear some playful background music. I think it's supposed to be telling us that this scene is "fun" and "lighthearted." Robbie is moving furtively around the kitchen. He peeks into a kitchen cupboard, then departs. Ruthie -- who had been standing, very obviously silhouetted, outside the back door -- sneaks in as soon as Robbie leaves. She goes to the cupboard and pulls down a bag of cookies. We see, from a close-up, that they are a brand called "Brenda's Cookies." So I guess some prop person is sucking up to Brenda Hampton. Big deal. Even if the cast members feel compelled to laugh at that pathetic excuse for a joke, there's still no reason to subject the rest of us hapless viewers to it. Jeez. Let's just hope "Brenda" bakes cookies better than she writes teleplays. Robbie comes back into the kitchen to accuse Ruthie of stealing his cookies. For reasons that are never explained, Robbie feels compelled to give Ruthie a nickname. It's "Snookie," which he claims comes from "sneaking cookies." Inexplicably, Ruthie is thrilled by her new moniker, and claims, "I've always wanted a nickname." Well, you've been called plenty of names here at MBTV, Ruthie, though I realize some of them might not be suitable for a G-rated show. Lucy walks in and gets to hear the whole exciting "Snookie" story. Instead of commenting that it is the most annoying thing she has ever heard, Lucy politely changes the subject slightly by saying that she has always wanted a nickname herself. Ruthie says, "If you tell me what went wrong in New York with Jeremy, maybe I could come up with something." Ah, so we're still pretending to care about Lucy breaking up with her fiancé, even though everyone knew she would never actually get married. But thanks for reminding me, Ruthie, so I can play along too. Schmucky -- I mean, "Snookie" begs Robbie to tell her all about Lucy's broken engagement, but Robbie refuses. Ruthie wrinkles up her nose in disgust and then rolls her eyes, which is pretty much what I was doing here at home.

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7th Heaven




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