7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: A+ | Grade It Now!
Cornucopia of Crazy

It's the next day, and Matt and PC are packing to leave. The wardrobe department is doing PC no favors, as they've put her in a tight sweater that makes her look fat. She was better off hiding behind tables and counters. Annie comes in and asks if they have time to go to church, and Matt says they have all day, even though PC is Jewish and maybe wouldn't feel comfortable in a church. But she says that would be great, to which Annie tells her to call her "Mom" and not "Annie." They exchange hugs and some awkward laughter, and Annie leaves the room. "Who was that?" PC asks, and she might want to brush up on her study of bipolar disorder before the mental health final. PC tells Matt that Annie will be fine when Simon tells her his Mystery News.

Ruthie finds Annie, and Annie says that she told Carlos that it was okay for Ruthie to go to Puerto Rico, and he's on his way to pick her up. She leaves, and Martin, RevCam, and the twins come out, wearing their Sunday suits. They're followed by Matt and PC, also dressed for church, and everyone decides that they don't know why Annie started acting so reasonable, but they're going to appreciate it while it lasts.

Everyone goes outside to the car, which leaves Lucy and Annie in the kitchen. Annie picks up a piece of cloth and gives Lucy her "turkey apron," saying that Lucy can cook Thanksgiving dinner. Oh, and she has to do it tonight, since Annie decided to celebrate early. Lucy asks for help, but to cook a twenty-pound bird in the space of a few hours, she's going to need more than just Annie; she'll need a miracle. Or a George Foreman Contact Roaster.

Everyone is lined up, double-file, in the backyard when Lucy and Annie come outside. RevCam says he'd like to get going so he can give his sermon, but Annie has an announcement. She wants to "savor the moment" of having her family around, and must be especially happy that it doesn't include the two black sheep, TP Mary and Sex-Havin' Simon. "You are all my family and I love all of you, so much," she says, like, too little, too late. The damage has been done.

That night, Thanksgiving dinner is served to everyone, including Carlos, Mac, and Charles Miguel. So Carlos took his baby across the country, only to take him all the way to Puerto Rico? Are you kidding? Have the writers ever been on a plane with a baby? It's HORRIBLE. No one would do it more than necessary.

Hey, look! This episode still has a few minutes left and no one wrote anything, so it's time for a photo montage. PC lights her gourd candles. SamVid gnaw on something that resembles human flesh. Matt watches RevCam attempt to sharpen a knife, and then RevCam points at Matt, who gets to carve the turkey. And thank fucking god this wasn't continued until next week with a storyline about how RevCam wants to carve the turkey, but this year Matt thinks he should do it, but then neither of them tell each other that and hilarity, followed by a poignant moment or two, ensues. The montage continues, with Lucy drinking gravy right out of the boat, which is nasty, and Kevin staring at his stupid acorn napkin holders. There's Mac dropping a plate on the floor (and why was anyone taking a picture of Mac getting a plate anyway?), and then he and Martin make "oops!" faces as they clean it up. Carlos and Ruthie (a.k.a. Nueva Mary) tend to Charles Miguel. Then Happy tries to eat him. And then I think Ruthie DID eat him, since the next picture is just of her, teeth bared, looking like she's just gained that burst of life-giving energy and strength baby flesh always give her. Or not, since Charles is in the next picture, but he would have been safer with Ruthie, since he's now in the desperate clutches of one Annie Camden. The last picture is actually a nice one of RevCam and Annie holding Charles Miguel. Would I have rather seen a picture of Mac mid-dropping the baby and adding to his list of Thanksgiving accidents? Well, yes. But this is good enough. And to my mom and dad: I'm glad you're both alive, and not crazy, and I'm sorry I can't be home this year.

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7th Heaven




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