Cue the mischievous music. The twins are a-stealing again, this time from Simon. I guess no one bothered to tell them about the Ten Commandments. It's a great movie. Just kidding, it's not so great. Of course, the twins are also too young and stupid to realize that they are stealing and that stealing is wrong. Because they live in such an amoral, anti-dogmatic household. Hee hee, "Dick."
Simon goes downstairs and kisses Cecelia. She hands him a check for the church. She goes to grab her purse, and he says, "Leave it," because he's paying. The twins rifle through her purse and say creepily, "Everyone has moneeey!" "Us, too." Ew.
RevEric is on the phone. Wow, could we have more phone conversations in this episode? I don't think so. He's calling everyone Mrs. Bink called, this time to ask for them to "give of themselves, too," to help her out while she's sick. He makes another call and gets an "or what?" He says there is no "or what," and they hang up on him. Another call. He asks, "Who are we to judge?" Hee, shout-out! Chandler calls. Is everything all right? He's been getting some calls. Eric says he thinks Mrs. Bink didn't ask for help because she didn't want "to be refused." We go to a split screen, and he says, "People are refusing." And this show? Is refuse. Chandler says he "has faith in [Eric's] ability to figure it out." Eric says, a wussy minister says what? Chandler means, he's the ASSOCIATE pastor, and he will defer to whatever Eric wants. Eric, flush with power, holds the phone and blinks limply.
CamPound. Ruthie walks into the kitchen and hands her dad cash for the church roof instead of kissing him. $10 cash! He says that's very generous, and thanks. What, is Ruthie blowing sailors down by the docks? The twins walk in with their bloated, swollen piggy banks. Eric comments that one looks like he went to market, and the other had a lot of roast beef. SamVid says, "It's not roast beef, it's money, lots of money." And where did they get it? Maybe the same place Ruthie did, because Lord knows she doesn't work. SamVid says they got it from "everyone." Eric asks if they ASKED everyone. "Hmmm," they say. Hmm.
Cop Station. Roxanne looks at Kevin furtively. He asks, "WHAT is wrong with you." Nothing, nothing. Lucy calls, she and Kevin make cute, and instead of handing over the phone, Roxanne walks all the way around to Kevin's chair to get it. Lucy begs her not to say anything to Kevin about their conversation last night, since she "forgot" that he and Roxanne work together. "Forgot"? Wasn't Lucy crazed with jealousy just a few months ago? What a difference a dick makes. Roxanne says she had "a great time" and it's "almost like having a sister." She and Lucy make a standing date for "pizza and girl talk." Kevin asks what they talked about last night. Roxanne is mum. Now only if everyone else will follow suit.