Kevin asks Lucy why she was going so fast; Lucy says she saw Matt, so she needs to rush home to tell Mommy and Daddy. Kevin says that this does not qualify as an emergency, adding that she should mind her own business. True, but shut up, Kevin. Roxanne has had enough of this, so she jumps in the police car, turns on the sirens, and has Lucy follow her home, now able to speed legally. Kevin doesn't seem to mind, so either his precious oath does not extend to using the sirens for non-emergencies, or the car is outfitted with a special "Matt Alert 3000" siren that is to be used for just such an occasion as this.
Paris comes to church, looking for RevCam. He's not there, of course, since RevCam hasn't worked in the last three seasons. Chandler is there, although he's hard to recognize because -- I'm pleased to report -- he got his hair did! It still looks pretty horrible, but the mullet is gone and it took a good fifteen pounds off of Jeremy London's face with it. Paris says she has a dilemma about Vic, so she doesn't think that Chandler is the best guy to talk about it with. Chandler says they're friends and she can talk about anything. So she does, and Chandler tells her to chill out and consider giving Vic another chance. I guess they cut off his balls when they cut off the mullet.
RevCam and Annie have never looked happier to be drying the dishes together. Maybe it's because there was a two-for-one sale down at the SuperCuts, so Annie got her hair done too! Either that, or she stole Ruthie's Dark and Lovely Relaxer Syystem (TM). Anyway, it looks a lot better. Hasn't taken any weight off her face, though. Lucy, Kevin, and Roxanne run in and announce that Matt is back in town. Kevin warns everyone "not to jump to con-CLU-sions." I don't think they've written any new dialogue for Kevin this season, nor has he found a different way to say it. Ruthie listens in from the stairs.
Vic appears to be giving himself a homemade tattoo that says, "Paris loves Vic." You know, the kind you made in art class when the teacher left the india ink and the safety pins unattended. Except that you were probably smart enough to make something really small and to put it somewhere less prominent than your forearm. Paris calls and tries to bitch Vic out for talking about dating her to Peter, but Vic is too charming to let that happen. Paris agrees to go to dinner with him, but only if they split the check. I think the women's liberation has finally hit Glenoak! Paris says she's going to hang up now, then says goodbye. Wow, it's like a totally different show!













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