7th Heaven
The Babysitter’s Seduction

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RevCam's Secret Past

RevCam walks into the pool, where Felicity is still floating, facedown. He turns her over, grabs her by the hair, and drags her across the water. Felicity opens her eyes and shoves RevCam under water. Wait -- she was pretending to be dead, like she did with Bardo? And she just played dead for the whole time it took RevCam to run downstairs and find a way to exit his house even though it's locked from the outside? Why didn't she just run away as soon as she hit the water? RevCam never would have been able to catch up with her before she reached help. I really hate this movie. Felicity and RevCam wrestle in the water. She bites his hand, forcing him to drop the knife. Then she punches him in the face, like, nice try, girlie, but there's no way you're going to win a physical battle against a man who's bigger than you are. And she doesn't -- RevCam strangles her underwater until she stops struggling. Unfortunately for RevCam, although he may have won the war, his hair lost the battle. It's hanging down in the front of his face in thick strands.

Team FranknClair pull up outside the house, but can't get in. But I thought it was locked from the outside! Shouldn't they be able to just unlock it and walk in? Frank ignores my very reasonable advice, though, and leads his team of police officers around the back of the house, because he read the script and saw that that is where all the action is.

RevCam walks out of the water, looking most proud of himself for all he's accomplished tonight. Suddenly, Felicity Jason Voorheeses out of the water behind him and stabs him in the back. "EEEErrrrrrrr!" says Felicity. "Thunk!" says the knife. "Uuurrggggaahhhh," says RevCam. He falls into the water as the police run up.

Frank points his gun at Felicity, who's currently holding a knife up over the body of the man she just stabbed. Oh, Felicity, you are so screwed. You should have just played dead for another ten minutes, but you had to get all pro-active for the first time ever in this film. Now you look guilty as hell. No one's going to believe you're innocent, not even your surrogate mother, Clair. RevCam treads water, much less affected by the deep stab wound to his back than he was by the tiny hanger scratch on his cheek, and weakly calls out to Frank. There isn't even any blood in the water, because the entire gore budget was blown on cheek wounds. Clair runs up to the side of the pool and holds her arms out to Felicity. "Come here, honey," she says. Yeah, come here so she can arrest you! RevCam continues to die from his magical bloodless injury as Frank starts overacting about how much he loves RevCam's stories. He instructs an officer to get RevCam some medical attention and arrest him. What? When, why, and how did he realize that RevCam was guilty, not Felicity? What makes them think that Felicity didn't just attempt to murder RevCam for non-self-defense purposes? She stabbed him in the back, not to mention that he's got the cheek injury and the stupid slash in his forearm, while Felicity is virtually mark-free. I hate this movie. Frank and Clair pat Felicity on the back, and they get ready to leave. Felicity stops and says she has to get rid of something. She takes the necklace off and tosses it into the pool. It lands next to the knife, which has blood all over it despite the fact that: a) there was no blood when Felicity stabbed RevCam, and b) I watched Forensic Files the other day, and they said that blood is "very soluble" in water, so it would have washed off by now. I hate this movie. RevCam's still trying not to drown in the pool, although now he has to deal with avoiding flying necklaces on top of everything else.

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7th Heaven




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