7th Heaven
The Best Laid Plans

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!

Matt finds Simon in Lucy and Kevin's apartment, which, wasn't Simon expressly told to stay out of it? And shouldn't Matt being staying out of someone's private home as well? Matt asks Simon how things went with their father. Simon says he hasn't talked to RevCam, and that he doesn't know how to tell his parents things they don't want to hear. And I don't blame him; every time he tries to, they screw him over. Matt asks Simon if he's having sex Georgia because he's upset about Asslee's dumping him. Simon asks Matt to talk to their parents instead of Simon. Matt agrees to talk to them, but then Simon has to as well. And then Simon starts to cry. Hey! This week's 7th Heaven is an acting bonanza!

RevCam comes home to find his wifey cooking dinner. Annie tells him about the non-twins' non-adventure with the mouse. RevCam asks about Simon, saying that he doesn't feel good about how he's been talking to him lately and threatening to withhold money because his child won't do "the right thing." He does not add that he should have realized this back when he ruined his relationship with Mary, but whatever. Annie also feels bad. And since the CamRents' being reasonable can't last more than thirty seconds, RevCam says that they shouldn't blame themselves for everything. He asks Annie what she's making; she says that Kevin asked her to grill steaks for a family dinner. So now her son-in-law AND her husband get to boss her around? Annie thinks the dinner is about finding out if they're going to have a grandson or a granddaughter. "I can't believe we're grandparents!" RevCam says, which, um...you couldn't believe it last season either, when your forgotten child gave birth to your first one. Annie and RevCam make out to celebrate their getting old as Matt comes in. He watches them and isn't all squicked out. In fact, he's jealous. Shut up, Matt.

And now Matt is going to introduce his parents to the subject of Simon's having sex. He says that sometimes, people are in love and want to be with each other, even when they aren't married. And sometimes, unmarried people who aren't in love want to be with each other. Like teenagers. "I see it every day," says Matt, adding that there are some "surprisingly high" statistics blah blah blah thank you, non-Dr. Pamphlet. RevCam asks Matt why he's telling him stuff he already knows. Matt adds that sometimes, the sexually active teens want to talk to their parents, but don't feel like they can. Even if the parents are "good" parents who talk to their kids about sex all the time. In fact, most would say they talk about it with their children a little too much. Matt adds that some parents don't want to know if their kids are having sex. I hope he isn't talking about the CamRents, who have always seemed pathetically desperate to uncover information about their children's sexual non-activities. RevCam asks Matt if he's been taking classes at the Chapel of Renewed Faith. Matt says that Asslee broke up with Simon, and now Simon's with a new girl. And by the way, he's totally having sex with her, and that's why he's on disciplinary probation. "Exactly what are you trying to say?" asks RevCam the Stupid. Matt says that Simon needs to talk to his parents and they need to listen.

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7th Heaven




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