7th Heaven
The Fine Art Of Parenting

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It's nighttime at the CamPound, and Lucy is asleep. In the nursery, Kevin hovers over a sleeping Savannah. RevCam stops by and calls Kevin over. We find out that Kevin has been waking Savannah up all night long to make sure she's breathing. Oddly, RevCam discourages Kevin's attempt to get an early start on child-stalking, telling him to get some sleep while he can. Kevin says he still can't believe the hospital let him just bring a baby home without making sure he and Lucy were fit parents. Well, obviously they let Annie and RevCam take home seven kids, so I wouldn't put too much faith in Glenoak Hospital's Crazy Parent Detector. RevCam starts to babble on about how everything's going to be fine, but is soon interrupted by Savannah, who, at the sound of RevCam's voice, starts to cry. Savannah and I have a lot in common, it seems. RevCam takes off and Kevin returns to the nursery, where Lucy, wearing her sexiest pair of lime green long-sleeve pajamas, has entered. She holds the baby and tells Kevin that they'll be fine without his help. Then Savannah sticks her tongue out a Lucy, which is awesome.

RevCam returns to the CamBoudoir and disrobes, revealing his seven layers of pajamas. Strange how Glenoak, which seems to be warm year-round, gets so cold at night. Annie asks RevCam how the baby's doing. He says he's more worried about Kevin, who isn't sleeping. Then he brings up how the Kinkirks will be leaving the CamPound for their own mansion soon. Annie says she's enjoying "every minute" of having them around, but concedes that they'll have to move "eventually." She quickly changes the subject to Martin and how she's worried about him all alone in the garage apartment. She thinks he'll be scared. And he should be; that place is a deathtrap. When you aren't about to fall through that giant hole where the kitchenette floor should be, you're wondering if the master craftsmanship of Annie and the guy who tried to sue her is good enough to withstand a small gust of wind without the entire place coming crashing down on you. And God forbid it ever rains. Meanwhile, RevCam has fallen asleep in Annie's face.

Martin has also fallen asleep, a book entitled History of Northern Europe splayed across his chest. You have to wonder what all those multicultural Glenoak high students thought when they found out that they'd be spending their senior history class learning about the history of the whitest white people on this planet. Anyway, we see that some blonde girl has also fallen asleep in Martin's pad, apparently in the middle of reading the same book. I don't understand this; the history of Northern Europe sounds like an exciting learning adventure to me, with all those Vikings sailing around, pillaging stuff, conquering everyone, discovering the New World but not getting any credit for it. Of course, since this is a school in Glenoak we're talking about, the entire book is probably just a collection of old Hagar the Horribles.

Ugh, this week's Opening Credits Timewaster is all SamVid. They're trying to make their own school lunches. They're doing a decent enough job making peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, but Sam ruins it all by taking some ice cream sandwiches out of the freezer. Martin strolls in and greets them, then asks where everyone else is. SamVid report that everyone is with the baby except for Ruthie, who's been sent outside to take in the garbage cans because everyone's afraid she'll try to sacrifice Savannah for her Dark Overlord. Martin leaves to find her. Sam tries to remove the wrapper from the ice cream sandwich, but he can't even do that right, so he ends up take a bite out of the sandwich and the wrapper. Vid grabs the sandwich from him and packs it in the lunch bags. Someone please help these children.

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7th Heaven

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