7th Heaven
The Fine Art Of Parenting

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Art Is Subjective

When we return, Vincent is seated in RevCam's home office. Leaning against his desk in a casual, yet professional, fashion, RevCam asks Vincent what his parents are trying to get him to do. He hopes that they aren't trying to get him to ask out his daughter. Vincent says he thought that was RevCam's plan to get him in his office. Arms folded rebelliously, Vincent says he doesn't think RevCam is the kind of guy who would let his daughter date someone who "goes against the demands of his parents." And what are those demands? Well, they want Vincent to go to church, even though they themselves don't attend it. "Interesting," says RevCam, which is a lie. Vincent says he isn't in any other trouble besides the church thing. RevCam sells Vincent on the idea of going to church by saying that it will give him a "moral compass." Vincent says his comic books do that as well, because good always wins over evil. RevCam says that his son Simon used to like comic books, and look how he turned out. But what is their excuse for Mary? Did she take delight in the antics of Marmaduke?

RevCam decides to stop talking about his failure children and go back to that whole moral compass thing that you can't get anywhere besides church. And just where does this moral compass come from? Apparently not Jesus or the Bible, since RevCam doesn't mention either of those. Maybe you just show up at church and a moral compass is planted inside you, like an Immaculate Conception, although RevCam wouldn't know anything about such things. Something he does know about, however, is sex, and he'd like to know Vincent's feelings on that. Vincent asks RevCam if he's asking that question as a minister or as Ruthie's father. And really, neither of those choices would be appropriate. RevCam doesn't answer the question, choosing instead to tell Vincent, unsolicited, that he thinks that sex should only be for married couples. If I were fourteen and a strange older man started asking me for my opinions about sex when we were alone in his office, I would have left. But Vincent just gets theoretical. He asks RevCam how he would feel if Ruthie made it to her forties without getting married. RevCam has four heart attacks at the thought of one of his daughters not finding a suitable man before her twenties. Vincent continues his scenario, asking RevCam how he would feel about premarital sex if Ruthie was that old and in love with a guy who didn't want to get married. RevCam says he doesn't care if she's eighty. I'll bet Ruthie cares! "The answer's still no," he finishes. It's too bad Jessica Biel isn't still around so that RevCam could, like, walk in on Mary in the bathroom or buy her tampons or something and get the Weird Father-Daughter Sex Vibes hat trick for the episode.

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7th Heaven




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