7th Heaven
The Heart Of The Matter

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The Heart Of The Matter

Or maybe he left because he saw Alan Fudge walking in. Mr. Fudge plays Lou, that dumb church elder, or administrator, or whatever the hell he's supposed to be. I may not know what he does in the church, but I do know that whenever you see him walking into a room, the ensuing scene will be part of a subplot that's too puerile for words. Sure enough, this is no exception, since Lou is here to complain about how he has no one to replace Eric at the church for the next little while. He apologizes for bothering Annie, but insists that this is important. Annie gets all agitated, saying she doesn't know who to replace Eric with. She's obviously uncomfortable about the word "replace," so Lou keeps insisting that this minister will not replace Eric; he or she will merely "fill in." Maybe this scene is boring me into giddiness, but I find that that sounds vaguely dirty. Lou finally realizes that he should not be bothering Annie with this. Good call, Lou, but I really wish you'd come to that realization about three minutes ago so we wouldn't have had to trudge through this scene. Lou leaves, but not before threatening to return.

Speaking of unwelcome comebacks, there's Ben, the slightly smarter, less psychopathic half of The Boring Buffalo Brother Beaux. Annie is a little surprised that he's come all the way across the country for this. Quite frankly, I am too, especially when he insists that he wants to help somehow. Obviously, the most helpful thing he could do at this point would be to hack Kevin into little bits and bury them in a field somewhere. However, Kevin is probably made out of that liquid metal stuff, like Robert Patrick's T-1000 in Terminator 2: Judgment Day. In fact, after scrounging up a few photos of T-1000, I'm astounded by how much Kevin reminds me of him. T-1000 is a little less evil, though. And Robert Patrick is a far better actor, obviously. But where were we? Oh, Ben. Right. He gives Annie the sad news that he hasn't talked to Mary in a month. Boo hoo.

Back at the CamPound, Ruthie explains to the twins, "Now, you both understand that trying to put your brother in the dryer is bad -- very, very bad." Taller Twin asks, "What about the closet?" Ruthie answers, "That's bad too." Hey, is that supposed to be a subtle putdown of Simon? Because that's not very nice. Shorter Twin asks why Ruthie is mad at RevCam. She doesn't want to talk about it. That's just dandy with me.

The next unwelcome comeback is from Sarah "Plot Contrivance" Camden, except she's not anywhere near as unwelcome as Ben, and at least she's family.

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7th Heaven

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