7th Heaven
The Heart Of The Matter

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The Heart Of The Matter

Back at the CamPound, the doorbell rings. The twins rush to the door. They manage to open it quite easily, seeing as how it's not locked or anything. Nice going, CamDolts. Unfortunately, it's PC at the door. The twins cry out, "Aunt Sarah, Aunt Sarah!" They follow that up with, "What did you bring us?" Such lovely children. I'm sure PC's here to help Ruthie get over her anger at RevCam, but first she has to convince Ruthie to go for a drive with her. This is accomplished with the same sort of tedious bickering we've all grown to expect from any social interaction on this show. Annie was so sure PC would succeed that she already arranged for the mysterious Mrs. Poole they're always talking about to come over and baby-sit the twins. Why Annie would bother with a baby-sitter is beyond me, since she can't even be bothered to fucking lock her front door.

Oh, no -- Lou did make good on his threat to return. I know he never threatened to bore me to death, but it looks like that may happen as well. He and the church deacons have decided to suspend church services for the next two weeks while RevCam recovers. ["Oh, for God's sack. Every church I have ever heard of has at least one associate minister for exactly this reason so that there's no 'service interruption' if the senior minister takes ill or what have you. This non-plot is so typical of how little the 'writers' know about actual churches and the way they conduct their affairs that I don't know why I even bother getting annoyed, so I'll get straight to the point: Get bent, Lou." -- Sars] Annie is distraught, which she indicates by making a bunch of funny faces. Lou finally leaves, but not before I've indulged in some very satisfying fantasies of pelting him with garbage. Hey, dude, thanks for dropping by! Are you aware that your guest appearance was probably the most pointless one in 7th Heaven history? No? Well, it was. Okay, y'all have a great evening!

Simon comes in to tell Annie that he's leaving to go talk to somebody. He explains to Annie that it's extremely important, although I sincerely doubt that that's true. We already heard that tired old line from Lou.

Lucy finally finds Kevin and tells him she's "been doing some thinking." Hee! That statement is even funnier than when someone mentions "Dopey" and "med school" in the same sentence. Kevin replies, "Apparently, you've been doing some talking too." This whooshes right over Lucy's head, so T-1000 decides to put off his administration of patriarchal correction until later. When Lucy very broadly hints that she would like to be proposed to, Kevin tells her the setting isn't romantic enough. Lucy giddily suggests that he propose now, and then again, later, in a more romantic spot. Wow, what a neat idea! She condescendingly tells him that if he wants to propose, he has to "open [his] mouth and speak." Ugh. Even if he did want to propose before, wouldn't that totally turn him off the idea now? The point is moot, however, since he didn't want to propose to start with. Lucy asks, "So, you, what, want to break up?" When T-1000 won't ditch Lucy's brainless ass, she furiously demands, "If we're not breaking up and we're not getting married, then what are we doing?" This is the part of the sadistic mind game where Kevin declines to answer and walks off, leaving Lucy hanging.

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7th Heaven




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