7th Heaven
The Heart Of The Matter

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The Heart Of The Matter

Here's RevElvis again, and he's still singing that "Teddy Bear" song. Is it supposed to be a sly reference to the last scene when he sings, "Put a chain around my neck and lead me anywhere"? Because I'm pretty sure Lucy will let Kevin do anything he wants to her. Oh, well. I'd be lying if I said I genuinely cared. Ooh, look -- RevCam's belt buckle is bigger than a dinner plate!

During the commercial break, RevElvis changes into a Hawaiian shirt, cream-colored trousers, and white shoes. It is after Labor Day, you know, Eric. He's singing some irritating song called "Rock-A-Hula Baby," which I'm happy to say I've never heard before. This time, we hear the voices of some off-camera background singers. RevCam looks confused when he hears them, but he still keeps singing. I'm not sure where the director's going with that, but I will say that it's a hell of a lot more interesting than anything else happening on the show this week.

Case in point: Annie's sitting in the waiting room with Lucy, Robbie, and The Boring Buffalo Brother Beaux. Robbie and Annie are all concerned about RevCam, but they're apparently the only ones. Lucy chooses this moment to selfishly pick a fight with The Cyborg. She tells him he must leave. For a change, I can actually sympathize with her to some extent. If I had a boyfriend who was playing nasty mind games with me, I'd want to break it off too. However, I'm not sure I'd do it with an audience -- particularly when that audience is waiting to hear news of someone's open-heart surgery. She loses even more points when she insists he must leave Glenoak. Maybe that's just my weird perspective -- I keep forgetting that the Camdens have Detective Michaels to do their bidding -- but how would he fare against a robot? That's probably not a really fair fight. Lucy scrunches up her face unattractively as she reams Kevin out for…something or other. Frankly, I've lost interest. Kevin's only comment is to make fun of the way Lucy uses the word "bucko." So, is this what the cyborg comedy of the future will be like? Good God! We must stop the robots! Now! When Lucy and T-1000 leave, Annie orders Robbie and Ben to meddle in their business. They act as if this were normal.

Plot Contrivance leads Ruthie down to the Promenade, where she introduces her to Susan, who is one of her "oldest and dearest friends." Okay, but I don't remember her from Dopey and PC's wedding. In fact, PC had no friends in her bridal party, only Camdens -- except for one token attendant. Still, this old and dear friend has somehow emerged to help her out by setting Ruthie straight. That's so lovely, it brings a tear to my eye.

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7th Heaven

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