Elsewhere, Simon is getting some cash converted into a money order. He's donating the money to the Flying Tigers Memorial Fund. Aww, that's genuinely sweet. This was the only act of charity that didn't annoy me in the pit of my dark, cynical soul. All the others seem like they're doing good deeds in order to make themselves feel better for not putting their own lives on the line, not to actually do anything valuable. Yes, I'm judging the quality and motivation of people's good deeds. Simon was right all along. My table in Hell already has a "Reserved for Shack" sign on it. The teller, of course, knows who Dwight J. Morgan is, and says that this is the third money order she's made out for the fund today. She says that she has a brother who is a Marine in Afghanistan. Simon encourages her to pass along his thanks to him. She says she will. After he leaves, she turns to a photo of a Marine on her desk and thanks the picture. You heard it here, folks: Afghanistan is located on a teller's desk in Glenoak.
We cut to a what looks to be a huge military cemetery. Sars says there's one in Los Angeles, so we'll go with that. ["I believe it's this one, if anyone cares." -- Sars] Lucy and Mary are together, of course, with a big basket of donated flowers they're going to put on the soldiers' graves. Lucy frets that they don't have enough flowers. But it turns out in some "wacky" coincidence that Mary called Matt and Lucy called Plot Contrivance, each without the other knowing, and they're both going to show up with more flowers. Mary says their act of charity is making her sad. Lucy says that military personnel who sacrifice their lives for us get little recognition. I feel like I'm about to have a Lisa Simpson moment where she points out through gritted teeth how many holidays we have to recognize veterans. If they want to argue that what we're doing is not enough (particularly when it comes to caring for the surviving families), then fine, as long as they have something to back it up other than Lucy and Ernest Borgnine saying so. But nobody's paved over that graveyard to build a mall, and I think we show even more concern about the sacrifices our troops make now than we did during Vietnam. So why not treat me with some respect and stop trying to act like you morons care more than I do. The two of them wander around, leaving flowers with tags on them that say "In honor of Staff Sgt. Dwight J. Morgan." Now, that's just brilliant. Lucy just complained about these guys not getting recognition, and now she's leaving flowers on their graves with somebody else's name on them. Dopey and Plot Contrivance show up, arms loaded with flowers, and begin leaving them on graves. After they cut away, I wonder if the actors and crew actually went around and left flowers at all these graves, or if they just packed up their things and drove away. I don't think I want to know the answer.
We cut to a bus stop. RevCam wanders up to some crazy homeless guy named Frank, who's sitting there waiting for the bus. He doesn't have any shoes. Eric asks about the shoes. Frank tells him somebody at the shelter stole them. Eric offers to bring him back to the shelter to find replacements. Frank can't. He's waiting for Jesus, who he claims rides this bus. Is He going to wash Frank's feet? Hell, I tell you. Satan's going to make an exception and put me in the ninth circle with the traitors and betrayers. Eric thinks about it for a moment, then kicks off his loafers and gives them to Frank and walks off, thanking Staff Sgt. Dwight J. Morgan. Let's just assume that he calls his congressional representative to demand some honest reform in our mental healthcare system off-camera. ["Let's also assume that Brenda Hampton called Winnie Holzman to apologize for ripping that scene off from the 'So-Called Angels' episode of My So-Called Life, also off-camera. Oh, wait -- let's not. Shut up, Brenda." -- Sars]