Then Simon comes downstairs, with his hair all slicked back and too much make-up on. He looks like he just returned from playing a Jet in the local dinner-theater production of West Side Story. He asks what's going on, and we get the Ruthie story yet again. Lucy and Mary, just like Annie, are worried that Ruthie is saying bad things about them because she hasn't told them what she's written. Why is it that all the women are worried and the men aren't? I'm sure there's some sexist idea behind it, but I'm not quite sure what it is. Simon, the manly voice of reason, suggests that Ruthie hasn't filled them in on the details because she didn't think they were interested. Lucy sarcastically dismisses the very idea, and the two girls rush upstairs, dragged along by their irrational feminine emotions. Simon stands around for a minute before he realizes that there's nobody left for him to pass the tedious exposition on to, then heads upstairs as well.
Upstairs, the Camdens (with the exception of Dopey) have gathered in Ruthie's room, where she reads them all a print-out of her long-winded email. This is going to go on for the next ten minutes. That's right -- the entire first act of this episode is Ruthie reading an email. Ruthie has apparently gone around asking all the Camdens what they love most about living in America, and she's telling Morgan what they all said. Doesn't Morgan get enough propaganda at his job? Ruthie passes the email around the room, so each Camden can read his or her part in America Rulz! The Middle East Droolz! Eric is first. Eric is glad that we have freedom of religion in the United States, and says that people have risked their lives coming to America for that right. Ruthie lies that Eric "encourages everyone to practice whatever religion they choose, but to choose one and practice it." And never, ever try to change it, either. And I guess for Eric, "freedom of religion" doesn't include "freedom from religion," because not practicing one at all doesn't seem to be an option. Still, it's a good thing we have freedom of religion here, or gay people like myself might not be allowed to get married.
Annie is next. Annie is grateful for "freedom of education." Blah blah people need to be educated to be free blah blah otherwise they'll believe whatever they're told, which isn't exactly true. For the purposes of this episode, Annie thinks that questioning authority is a good thing in order to keep those in charge "in check," and a good education is necessary to do so effectively. So when Cate is constantly questioning Annie's authority, she's a true American patriot. Even if she is, technically, a Canadian. Yeah, Americans love people who question authority. Just ask Noam Chomsky.