7th Heaven
The Long Bad Summer (1)

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The Long Bad Show

Lucy and Ruthie talk about a "plan" that involves either Lucy talking to Mary or Ruthie talking to Carlos. They haven't figured that crucial step out yet, because they're idiots.

Aaaaand we're back in the kitchen, where Annie is saying that Simon can't go to New York because he has school tomorrow. Why does everyone care about this? At the very least, you'd think they'd be more concerned about how Simon got enough money to buy a last-minute airplane ticket for New York City than about him missing the first few days of school, where nothing ever happens anyway. Suddenly, RevCam just turns around and bolts out of the house. I thought maybe he was pulling an Asslee and decided that being so close to Annie could be dangerous, but he was actually just trying to catch up to Peter. RevCam suspects that Peter overheard something when he went up to the attic. Peter asks if RevCam has superpowers. RevCam says that on some days, he does. Yeah, and every other day, he has a heart attack and almost dies. Peter says that he can't tell Eric what he heard because it would end his relationship with Ruthie, and therefore his life. And let's have a big hand for Peter, who just officially became The Most Pathetic Person In The World, beating out Sissy The Perpetually Pregnant Crack Addict, Walter The Morbidly Obese Shut-In Who Loves Science Fiction Too Much, and Annie Camden! RevCam apologizes for trying to needle Peter into ratting on his girlfriend and Peter leaves. On his way out, he tells RevCam that all three of his daughters are involved in the secret. I can't believe Brenda Hampton just wasted my time with that scene, in which nothing new was told to us, and only the fact that Mary, Lucy, and Ruthie are up to some clandestine activity was revealed to RevCam. This scene lasted about a minute and a half; we could have seen the car accident in that time.

RevCam runs back into the house, where Annie is standing in the exact same place she was before, as if time stopped for her when RevCam left the scene. Which is probably exactly what happened. RevCam says that he'll call Matt, but Annie doesn't see what good that will do. RevCam says that Matt can bring Simon home. "What is he, the Wizard of Oz?" Annie asks sarcastically. RevCam angrily asks Annie what she wants him to do. She says that she wants him to fly out to New York and bring Simon back with him. RevCam doesn't think he needs to go to New York when Matt can just stick Simon on a plane and ship him back. Annie breaks it down and says that one of them has to go, and it's not going to be her. Right, because she has pressing business to attend to at home. Like making sandwiches and vacuuming the area rugs. RevCam says that he's not going to New York. Go Eric! It's about time he stood up for himself. Annie says that if that's the way he feels, then it's time for them to have a fight. This lady is like a damn child; you don't do what she wants and she throws a temper tantrum. RevCam says he already knows what Annie has been waiting all summer to say to him: that the accident is his fault, because he didn't leave for Ruthie's non-celebration celebration dinner with the rest of the family, and he had just driven everyone, none of this would have happened. Eric says that they have to concentrate on what did happen, which is that Simon killed "Paul Smith." RevCam goes into more detail about the how the accident happened, all of which would be unnecessary had we actually been able to see it happen. Simon "came around a curve" and "Paul Smith wasn't looking where he was going." Couldn't they just call him "Paul" at this point? And couldn't Brenda have thought of a better last name than "Smith"? Eric reminds Annie that their son is still alive, so they're the lucky ones. This little speech might have had more emotional impact if RevCam weren't delivering it in his "serious" whisper-cry voice that always makes me giggle. Annie finally gets a chance to speak, and uses it to say that she didn't want to blame RevCam at all; she wanted to blame PaulSmith's parents for not telling him to wear a helmet. Right, because why blame people you know and love when you can blame people you don't know or care about for not being good enough parents?

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7th Heaven

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