7th Heaven
The Long Bad Summer (1)

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
The Long Bad Show

Guess not, since RevCam goes to his bedroom, where Annie is sleeping. Some people look absolutely angelic when they sleep. But not Annie. RevCam whines about not knowing how to get the CamFam through this ordeal. Well, Ruthie and the twins seem to be doing just fine, so you're already on your way, aren't you, Eric? Annie groans because her selfish ass of a husband has woken her up with his noisy chatter. RevCam says that he wasn't talking to Annie; he was talking to "you," and then he looks up. He was talking to the ceiling? Oh, right: God. "I'll be right here," Eric whispers to the Lord seductively, pointing to the bed. God's all, "Not tonight, honey. I have a headache."

Suddenly it's nighttime, and Eric and Annie are still sleeping. Well, now they're never going to get any sleep tonight. Way to ruin your circadian rhythms, there, guys. RevCam wakes up and sees that it's a little past midnight. He springs out of bed, something I sure as hell wouldn't be able to do after an eight-hour-long nap, and runs downstairs, where everyone is playing cards in the dark. A honking big mansion like that and they don't even have a television? Or a lamp? The twins have fallen asleep in their chairs, although they are still holding their playing cards upright, which sort of looks more like the onset of rigor mortis than sleep to me, but I shouldn't get my hopes up. Especially because one of them is blinking, so obviously he's not dead. Nor is he capable of following directions. RevCam says he'll make some dinner; he's been itching to try out a new recipe he found on the internet. It consists of mixing corn flakes and milk in a bowl, then serving cold. Eric's not sure he'll be able to pull it off, but he's willing to try! Lucy says that there's no need; Annie came down earlier and made something, then went back to bed. So I guess Annie's mental deal this year is going to be "depression." Well, it's better than "pregnant" or "menopausal." Kevin and Lucy take the twins up to bed and Ruthie says that Cecilia is here. Aw, crap.

Simon and Asslee walk along the beach. Asslee whines about how Simon won't let her help him. "It's been three months," she says, as if that means that enough time has passed and Simon should just get over it already. Simon tells Asslee he doesn't want to talk to her. Asslee squeaks that that's okay, as long as she can be with him. Simon says no to that too. I guess the accident made him realize that life is too short to date girls with no acting talent whose famous-ish sisters got them parts on terrible television shows. Good for him; growing up is all about learning lessons like these. Simon says that school is starting next week and it's going to be a "living hell" for him, and there's no reason for it to be one for her too. Asslee has no apparent reaction to this, but I guess Simon read something in her blank facial expression, because he says, "What? You think I'm feeling sorry for myself? 'Cause I'm not. I'm feeling sorry for the kid I ran over, and his brother and his parents." No, you're not, Simon. If you were, you wouldn't begin every sentence you've uttered about the accident with "I." Asslee says that the dead kid's brother has been Simon's classmate for four years, so he must know by now that Simon isn't a bad guy and didn't mean to kill his brother. Thanks to Annie, he probably also knows that Simon is a virgin. Simon very astutely points out that no one could be that understanding, adding that "if it had been [him], and some guy in his car had come along and hit Ruthie, [does Asslee] think [Simon] would have just went up [sic] to him in school and said, 'It's okay, I know you didn't mean to do it'?" No, I would also expect you to give him a high-five and a thank-you card.

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7th Heaven




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