7th Heaven
The Long Bad Summer (1)

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Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
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The Long Bad Show

Kevin comes downstairs to answer the phone. What rude bastard calls a house with young children this late? "Is that you, Detective Michaels?" Kevin asks. Oh, that kind of rude bastard. The only explanation I can think of for why Det. Michaels is calling the Camden beach house this late and not giving his name until directly confronted is that he was making a crank call. You think he would at least have used one of those voice distortion things, though. I wonder if he was going to ask if the Camdens' refrigerator is running, or just breathe heavily for a minute and then hangs up? Kevin listens for about three more seconds, then tells Det. Michaels that he will give RevCam the message, and Eric will decide how to "handle it." We then see a shot of the Glenoak Community Church. I never realized how damn big that place was. Also, someone has written "Thou Shalt Not Kill" on the church sign in dramatic red spray paint. The flute tweetles sadly. I didn't even know flutes could do that, but there you go. I must say, I admire the choice of fonts used on the church sign. I'm not usually a big fan of serifs, but they seem right here. ["Desperate to find something positive to say, are we?" -- Sars]

And we're back at the CamPound. I miss the Beach Mansion already. RevCam enters the house and tells everyone to get ready for church. Peter starts to follow Ruthie upstairs until RevCam clears his throat and makes a "where do you think you're going, young man?" gesture. Hey, if you're going to invite a guy on vacation with you, then it's really your own damn fault if he starts acting like he's a part of the family. Peter says he's taking Ruthie's bags up to her like a good little whipped boyfriend, and RevCam assents. As soon as Peter goes upstairs, RevCam rushes to the phone and calls Kevin, who ridiculously answers the police phone with "hello." No "Glenoak Police Department, Officer Kinkirk speaking" or anything like that. That place has got to be the most unprofessional police station ever. RevCam asks about the sign; Kevin says that he and his fellow officers got the sign cleaned up by sunrise, and he doesn't think many people saw it. I guess cleaning church signs is part of police business when the entire force is being paid off by the pastor. RevCam is worried that Simon will find out about it anyway. Kevin is more concerned with skipping church to take a nap. I wouldn't mind skipping this show to take a nap. Hell, I wouldn't mind skipping this show to wax my armpits or something equally painful. RevCam hangs up as Annie comes downstairs and angrily asks what's going on.

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7th Heaven

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