7th Heaven
The Long Bad Summer (1)

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B- | Grade It Now!
The Long Bad Show

Back at the police station, Det. Michaels swaggers over to Kevin's desk and says that they found the graffiti culprit, "not that it was too hard to figure out." Really? I imagine the list of suspects would have been quite lengthy. Did you get busted for graffiti recently, Sars? You know, I thought I recognized your handwriting, but I didn't want to say anything. Oh, it turns out it was Justin, the dead kid's brother. Det. Michaels nosily asks if the CamRents have considered transferring Simon to a different school, and then inquires about the upcoming trial. Det. Michaels still, after three months, doesn't understand why they're even having a trial in the first place. Well, it did take the guy like thirty years to get a promotion; it's safe to say that he's not the sharpest pin in the cushion. Kevin exposits that the dead kid's family wants more than the insurance company wants to pay. "No matter how much they get, it won't bring their son back," Det. Michaels says. Are they trying to spin this so that we think that the dead kid's parents are greedy and thus unlikable? Shut up, Brenda. Kevin says that he just wishes that "it hadn't of [sic] been Simon," meaning that it's okay that the kid died, but a total bummer that Simon is the one getting in trouble. ["I kind of agree, if only because Simon was the only even marginally likable Camden left." -- Sars] Det. Michaels says that nothing they can do can change the fact that it was Simon. Thanks for that pearl of wisdom, Detective; before you spoke, I was wondering why RevCam didn't just fashion a time machine, take it back to before the accident, and stop it from ever happening, but now I see that this is just not possible.

RevCam and Annie are all up in each other's faces. "How are we gonna do that?" RevCam says. "Why are you asking me?" Annie replies. Then Simon comes downstairs, so they lamely pretend that they were fighting over who gets the shower first. Simon announces that he doesn't want to go to church today. In a reaction shot, Annie is smiling. Has someone been putting Valium in her juice lately? Well, it's about time. Simon says he needs some time to himself. The CamRents agree in unison, making Simon suspicious that they also don't want him to go to church for some reason. RevCam says that his reason is Simon's reason. Soon enough, all the talking in circles gets everyone confused, and Simon turns around and stomps back upstairs. Annie runs after him.

Lucy comes in and nags her dad that he should be getting ready for church. Eric says he will, as soon as Annie gets out of the shower. Oh, so I guess they really were fighting about shower time after all. Silly me, I just assumed that they were lying to their children again! Lucy urges RevCam to tell Simon about the graffiti before "someone else does." Yeah, like that loudmouth Mrs. Bink. RevCam says he'll tell Simon after church, and there's no need to worry about someone telling Simon at church because he isn't going. Lucy looks shocked, then says that she isn't going to church either because she wants to "be there" for Kevin when he gets back from the station. RevCam suspects that his daughter really just wants to get it on with her husband instead of going to church. Sacrilege! Lucy coyly says that she and Kevin need some time together to "do something…life-affirming." RevCam wants to know what she has in mind, because asking a question like that is one of the few ways this scene could get any more squicky. Lucy doesn't answer. RevCam reminds her that having a baby while she's still in school is not a good idea, and she should just leave it up to God to provide her with something "life-affirming." Shut up, RevCam. There are so many things wrong with guilting your adult daughter into not having sex with her husband. Lucy agrees to go to the church service, and leaves. RevCam asks God for some "uplifting distraction -- dealer's choice!" God gets his own uplifting distraction when he discovers that there's still a little bit of Herbal Essences left in the bottle he thought was empty.

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7th Heaven




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