7th Heaven
The One Thing

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Matt Is Still Stupid

I guess even the writers of this show are sick of it, so they've changed things up a bit this week. Again. I thought we already went through our "different" episode of the season with that college application Simon did with Mario Paint, but apparently not. So now we get to watch long-gone cast member Barry Watson and his wife, Plot Contrivance, live their exciting lives as medical students in the big city. It was written and directed by a real doctor who's also worked on ER, and will take place almost entirely in an ER. I tried to trick Heathen into doing this, saying it was an ER Extra, but she didn't fall for it. Damn. Anyway, I'm sure this evil show is airing this particular episode on this particular week because Brenda knew this was my last week working at the hospital, so watching this would make me all sad and remorseful about quitting.

We open in Matt and PC's rather large New York City apartment. Matt and PC are studying up for their first shift as medical students in the emergency room tomorrow. Well, Matt's studying; PC is whining about how she can't find an orientation manual or whatever. Matt has already read his cover-to-cover and memorized it, whereas PC has yet to look at hers. Those two -- they're so wacky and different, but they still find a way to make it work out! Zzzz. Matt starts saying something about angina, a word that still cracks me up, as PC whines some more about which shoes she should wear. Eventually, she realizes that she's not the only person in the world, which does not, in fact, revolve around her, and asks Matt how he can be so calm and organized. Matt responds by whipping out a big black old-timey doctor's bag. PC says people are going to make fun of him for having one of those, but Matt says it's a gift from his parents, so he's going to use it. But, Matt -- your parents are really lame. Matt decides to turn in for the night, while PC says she's going to stay up studying for a while longer. Matt tells her not to worry her pretty little head about anything; he can cover for her. What a gentleman. All she has to do is set their alarm for 5 AM.

Which, of course, she doesn't. Matt wakes up at 6:30 and freaks out because he has to be at the hospital in thirty minutes. Fortunately, they're able to get ready in mere seconds with the assistance of a really cheesy clock-wipe. That's right up there with the split-screen phone conversations as Indications that the 7H Special Effects Team Needs to Retire. Hey -- Matt and PC still have those Japanese screens from his swingin' bachelor pad! Seems kind of impractical to lug those all the way across country, but, you know, sometimes it's worth it to have something that reminds you of home. Matt can't find his stethoscope; PC says she was using it last night to listen to her own heart, because she suspects she has a heart murmur. Hypochondriac. And shouldn't she have her own stethoscope? Matt grabs PC's white coat and notices that she's using her maiden name on her ID badge. He asks her when she decided on this; she avoids the subject. Not that there's anything wrong with keeping one's "maiden" name after marriage, but PC really should have told Matt she was going to do this before their first day of work.

On their way out the door, Matt's cell phone rings. It's Annie. It takes a while for Matt to figure out who she is, which was pretty funny, then he panics because his mother is calling him at 3:30 AM Glenoak time, so maybe his dad had another heart attack or something. But no -- Annie's just being her usual dependent self. She's up getting SamVid some special kitchen water and decided to give her son a call while she was at it, even though it's 6:30, New York time, which would be about the worst time to call a student. At 6:30, you're either trying to sleep through a hangover or finish a paper that you really should have started earlier. And what a doormat Annie is! My mother would never have tolerated me waking her up and demanding water from the kitchen sink. Annie says that PC gave her Matt's new cell phone number, to which Matt gets all mad at PC because he got the cell phone to avoid his crappy family in the first place. Annie passes the phone off to SamVid, who make a brave attempt at human conversation. Matt hangs up on them. Ha! PC and Matt bicker about how PC told his family his new number on purpose because she was sick them calling and tying up their phone line. I hope they have the new AT&T One Rate calling plan, with all their calls out of state.

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7th Heaven

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