7th Heaven
The Ring

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The Ring

Dopey's down in the living room, bonding with Robbie, Simon, and the twins, who, for a change, have not been banished behind the couch. Robbie and Simon are looking awfully cozy sitting next to each on the floor with their shoulders touching. Robbie keeps trying to give Dopey advice, while Simon parrots everything he says. This succeeds in driving Dopey from the room, which was most likely their intention all along.

Over in Buffalo, Lucy is asking Pea-Brained Moron if he's ever wanted to shoot anyone. He says no, but that's probably only because he hasn't known Lucy and Mary for very long, and he hasn't even met Annie. Besides, I'll bet he's still thinking he'll be able to get down Lucy's pants soon. Ben sarcastically talks about how Mary has switched careers so often, and Mary tells him to mind his business. Pea-Brained Moron tries to defuse the tension by changing the subject. He tells Mary that Ben talks about her all the time and that he really doesn't have a girlfriend. This encourages Mary to start pleading her case with Ben, telling him she knows he has feelings for her because of the way he looked at her in her parents' living room. Yeah, Mary, but that was before he dumped your ass. Mary goes on to give a pedestrian, annoying speech about learning to love again, while Lucy and PBM look on in interest. Nothing like some light dinner conversation to make the evening a success. Ben still doesn't say anything, even when Mary practically begs him to take her back. As she gets up to leave, she doesn't look too worried about the failure of her plea. I'm sure that's because she's planning on stalking Ben until he gives in. After all, she has that "plan" she was talking about earlier. When Mary's gone, Pea-Brained Moron lives up to his name by encouraging his brother to follow her and not let such a fine woman get away. Ben takes his advice and goes. PBM and Lucy start making out in the restaurant. I'm sure a mass exodus by all the other grossed-out patrons of the restaurant will be next.

Ben catches up with Mary, which isn't very hard to do, since she's just standing in front of the restaurant, as if waiting for him to follow her. He apologizes to Mary and starts making out with her. Now, this would have been the perfect time for them to be struck and killed by lightning, but obviously nobody on this show cares about what I want. Sniff!

Annie is sitting on that ugly porch swing that nobody ever sits on. Dopey joins her and is subjected to all her trite musings on what makes a marriage a success. Yeah, listen up, Dopey. Don't you want to have a fabulous marriage like your parents do? Annie gives him a box that contains her grandmother's engagement ring, which she wants him to have so that he can give it to Sarah. Dopey has the good grace not to enquire if the diamond is real. Actually, it's a nice scene all around, even if Dopey mars it somewhat by shaking his head while claiming he loves Sarah "with all [his] heart." Does anyone really think there's a chance that Dopey and PC will have a great marriage?

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7th Heaven




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