7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Mr. Stupidhead: D | 401 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
The Tattle Tale Heart

In the other room, Ruthie is watching cartoons. In comes SuperMom to inquire as to whether Ruthie had mentioned anything about Aunt Julie to THE COLONEL. Ruthie fails to respond. Luckily for her, Matt enters and announces that he is going apartment hunting. SuperMom tries to convince him to fix up the garage and live there, but Matt is not having it. He tells SuperMom to talk to the hand, and shakes his booty outta there in quite a hurry. When Annie turns around again to talk to Ruthie, the child has disappeared. Wherever she has gone, I'll bet she's doing something annoying, so I'm going to tell her to shut up. Shut up, Ruthie. Ah, I feel much better now.

Cut to the church, where Eric "CAN DO!" Camden is listening to a young couple talk about how they've decided to sell the house blah apartment blah cheaper blah muffins. Nobody cares, including RevCam. The phone rings, and it's Julie. She kids around with Eric about not being able to make dinner this evening, which Eric doesn't like the sound of, and then says she'll be over by six. After they hang up, we close in on RevCam's face as the sound of a beating heart thumps our way into commercial. Real subtle. That is, if we lived in a world where "subtle" meant "blatant."

Melissa Joan Hart. Pantene. Jennifer Love Hewitt. Coca-Cola. What do all of these things have in common? They all like to waste my time.

So, up drives Superfly in his...oops. Actually, it's Matt "It was 'Killing,' but now it's 'Teaching'" Camden pulling up in The Penismobile. He bumps into his friend John, who is apparently looking at the same apartment as he [insert sound of hand thwacking forehead here]. Light banter about movin' out. Matt needs a job. John needs a car. Mr. Stupidhead needs a case of TUMS. Bangs and Hardbody in Matt's room, this time with floor plans drawn in crayon. Floor plans? Done in Crayon? Not? Enter SuperMom, who asks the girls what they think they are doing, to which they both reply with the theme from The Jeffersons. The only problem with this is that they are both white teenage girls, and thus have no flave. I am annoyed, but this is not news. Ruthie and Simon enter, both with plans of their own, and the whole thing gets very hectic. SuperMom looks vexed, and tells the kids that nobody's moving just yet. Here's what it boils down to: The kids are changing rooms, which I think represents the amount of change they are all about to experience in their exciting and pro-active lives. Not. Could that be more obvious? Ugh. SuperMom goes to dispense laundry to the children's rooms, and in the hallway she bumps into...

7th Heaven

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