Chainsaws Don't Kill People; People Kill People
The make-out couple disengages for a second to remark that they didn't even know each other yesterday. Then they go back to it. Nerd interrupts the couple to tell them that every day, thirty-two thousand Americans are infected with a sexually transmitted disease, and two-thirds of them are their age. What is he, RevCam with all this health-class pamphlet knowledge? The girl quickly loses interest, and the guy flips Nerd off. Considering the other ridiculous chronological errors in this movie, I half-expected the guy to retort something about how HIV can be prevented by taking special drugs within six hours of possible exposure. Girl remarks on how great it is that this group was passing by El Paso just when she started hitchhiking. Everyone else in the car, except the make-out guy, is like, "Um, not really." Make-out Boy complains about the van's air-conditioning being broken, prompting Eddie to suggest that "Pepper" (the make-out girl) and he could always take their clothes off. Mary remarks that she hopes Skynyrd plays a song from their not-yet-released album at the big concert the band had before it gained widespread appeal. Character backstory alert: Mary also tells us that she's been living with Eddie for the last three years. Then Nerd lights a joint and the fun can begin!
Mary passes on smoking the joint, because we all know that she only likes to look at them, and we learn that the van o' teens is driving to the concert from Mexico, where they just spent the last four days partying. Mary expresses childish disappointment that Eddie didn't buy her a ring down there, so he gives her the joint instead. Which she then tosses out the window. What a bitch! Maybe everyone else in the van will kill her just for that and then the movie will end. No such luck: it turns out that no one minds, because there are two pounds of weed somewhere in the car. Mary is pissed; no one told her that they were going to Mexico to buy lots of pot. Eddie manages to charm himself out of a fight and asks Mary for a kiss. The ensuing make-out session distracts him slightly from the road. "Look out!" shouts Mary, attempting (unsuccessfully) to act startled. Eddie just manages to swerve in time to avoid some blonde girl in a little sundress walking down the road. Anne Heche? Maybe. She doesn't respond when Mary calls out to her and asks if she's okay. Nerd suspects it's a bad acid trip, but Mary and Pepper are concerned, so they run out of the van to check on her. When they catch up to her and ask if she's okay, Anne will only say that she wants to go home. To the Fourth Dimension! Mary makes a snap decision that they can't leave Anne wandering around the Texas countryside in this condition, so they throw her in the van and head on into town.