7th Heaven
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Episode Report Card
Sara M: D+ | Grade It Now!
Chainsaws Don't Kill People; People Kill People

Back at the van, Anne has been preserved for freshness and is ready to move. The sheriff supervises while Nerd and MoB lift the body and put it in his car. Pepper makes some remark about the sanctity of the dead, prompting the sheriff to lecture her that he has a ton of respect for the dead, then yell at the boys to stick the body in the trunk because he doesn't want blood and brains on his back seat. Ha ha ha. With Anne is stowed in his trunk, Sheriff salutes the kids and takes off.

Mary runs through the Forest of Doom, looking for Eddie.

Now we're inside a room filled with body parts and tools. Eddie's there too, but he's not exactly aware of his surroundings. Because he's dead. Leatherface makes preparations for something that I'm sure is going to be disgusting.

As the sheriff speeds off, Mary meets the other three at the van and tells them that she called the sheriff and he's on his way. They say he already came and went and took the body with him. Mary asks where Eddie is. They haven't seen him. A car horn honks in the distance, and the four run to find the source of the disturbance, thinking it's Eddie. It turns out to be a stick propped against the horn of an abandoned car. Nearby, MoB finds a set of teeth on the ground, prompting Pepper to get all freaked out again. Once she calms down, they continue their search for Eddie. Nerd reaches into another abandoned car and pretends that he's stuck in it. No one finds his joke very funny, so he stops. He pulls out a jar filled with some clear liquid and a picture of a girl. "Is that…the girl from our van?" Mary asks. It is. On the other side of the picture is another photograph, this one of the girl and what must be her family: a mother, a father, a brother, and baby of unknown gender. "Weird!" everyone says, wondering what the family was even doing here in the first place. Nerd says they were probably looking for the sheriff. He asks Mary for the van keys, saying he thinks it's time they got going. Mary won't give them up because she's afraid he'll try to leave without Eddie. The group decides to take a vote on it; Pepper says she'd like to leave her teeth "right where they are." But MoB, who is finally assigned the name "Andy," says he won't leave Eddie behind. So Mary and Andy go off to search for Eddie, and Pepper and Nerd trudge off to the Van of Disloyalty. Personally, given the choice between looking for my friend or sitting around a van filled with some girl's brains (and Pepper), I would have taken the former.

Eddie's getting hauled up by his feet above the bathtub. A box drops out of his pocket and into some nasty red blobby stuff that looks like Jell-O but probably isn't. Curious Leatherface opens the box to find a diamond ring. "Awww," he thinks, "young love is so sweet."

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7th Heaven




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