7th Heaven

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B+ | 385 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
Racism With a Side of Spying

Mrs. Poole announces that it's time for the toilet paper game, where everyone has to see who can get the amount of toilet paper that fits around Annie's stomach the closest. And by the looks of Annie's stomach, I hope they brought several rolls of paper, at least one per contestant. And it better not be that toilet paper I bought at the Food-4-Less last month, which only lasts like, one week per roll per person. I thought I was getting such a good deal, too. Mrs. Hinkle tells Annie that she has mace in her purse if Annie needs it, although I wonder if Mrs. Hinkle removed the pepper spray long ago and replaced it with grain alcohol, for when she doesn't have time to guzzle the cough syrup and just needs a little spritz to get her going. Oldie asks Patricia to bring her some cookies. While Oldie's busy, Mrs. Hinkle spikes her punch with cough syrup. Annie reacts to this with a face full of horrified dismay and playful swat to Mrs. Hinkle's osteoporosis-ridden shoulder, and yet Annie still says nothing to Oldie about how Patricia isn't her personal servant.

At the roadside diner, the manager asks the Hamiltons what's wrong. Waiter comes up and gives the Hamiltons some hamburgers, to which John protests that not only didn't they order hamburgers, but also that these hamburgers are cold. Manager tells the Hamiltons that maybe they should just take their business somewhere else, to which John states that this kind of thing is illegal in 1999. Manager says he owns this restaurant and he has the right to refuse service to anyone, as stated on a sign. As soon as the manager is out of earshot, RevCam gets brave and says, "You've got to be kidding!" RevHam and John say that this is their fight. "And mine, too," says RevCam, totally missing the point. RevCam says he's embarrassed to be white right now, which I don't understand. White people do stupid stuff all the time, and I'm not embarrassed for them. Case in point: Brenda Hampton is white, and while I'm disgusted with her as an individual, I'm not embarrassed for my entire race because she happens to be a part of it. RevCam declares that it's time to take action. Stokely Carmichael spins in his grave. Revs Cam and Ham stand up and demand food. Manager threatens to call the cops. They tell him to go right ahead, because they aren't going anywhere. Manager picks up the phone and dials. Boy, is he going to be pissed when Sgt. Michaels, the only cop in town, shows up. I'm almost looking forward to this.

7th Heaven

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