7th Heaven
The Tribes That Bind

Episode Report Card
Sara M: B | Grade It Now!
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Racism With a Side of Spying

Outside, we see that another Tripp boy has entered the ranks: here's Steven, who's in college. Mark's there too, but he and Mary quickly take a seat on a nearby bench. Oops! Now Matt and Steven are flirting about an economics class they share or something. Ruthie does her Xena battle cry, and she and Simon attack Bobby and Darryl. Matt and Steven separate their siblings, and Steven yells at Bobby for teasing Ruthie. Matt yells at Ruthie for kicking Bobby. Matt and Steven say they'll see each other in class on Monday, then separate Mark and Mary, the way weird older brothers tend to do. As everyone's about to go into their respective houses, Steven says that he wishes the CamRents luck on the new kids. "What are they, numbers fourteen and fifteen?" Darryl pipes in with "our dog only had four, and she's a dog!" Mark makes a crack about RevCam being a minister, and that's it.

The Camdens all make Xena "ay-yi-yi-yi-yi!" battle cries and run into the battle with the Tripps, in cool slow-motion. Extremely dramatic music plays, and I am talking Trumpets of Conflict and Voices of Drama here, people. The wimpy Clarinet of Sadness and Flutes of Whimsy can suck it! The Tripps and Camdens clash in the center of the screen. Happy and Sid Vicious look at each and decide to sit this one out.

Lucy's still at camp, trying to meditate. She is missing the most fun anyone at the CamPound has ever had.

RevCam and Annie are sitting outside, talking about their respective days. RevCam says he's worried about the babies. Annie says RevCam says this every time she's pregnant, and every time the baby is born, they bond or whatever. Annie and RevCam confirm their love for each other for the zillionth time, and RevCam says he wants to be Annie when he grows up. Um...huh? Is he trying to tell Annie about his cross-dressing fetish? Making out commences, followed by RevCam giving Annie the "come on" to the bedroom, like, if Annie can't lift ice cream, I don't really think she can handle sex, but whatever, RevCam. Suddenly, he notices that it's unusually quiet around the CamPound.

We cut to a shot of the Camden/Tripp war, still in slow motion, still with the dramatic music playing. Just because the fighting scenes were so awesome, the customary "boo" I shout when I see "Executive Producer: Brenda Hampton" was quieter than usual. Then I remember that Brenda Hampton was also responsible for this week's bizarre mixed message about racism, in which the audience is shown that restaurant segregation is wrong, while church segregation is totally fine. Oh, and that you can boss black people around as long as you claim to have been married to one once. And I don't even want to know why the word "tribes" was included in this episode's title, but I really hope I'm just being over-sensitive.

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7th Heaven

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